


Lying In Wait

by lesbianshipnation



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Sex in later chapters, Smut, Trans Character, War, lying, mentioned slavery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2020-07-10 16:13:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19908547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianshipnation/pseuds/lesbianshipnation
Summary: Adora isn't the only one with a destiny. Catra has to make some difficult choices. Playing both sides isn't as easy as it looks.Catra spies for the Rebellion.





	1. A Deal I Can't Refuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major canon divergence after events of season 2. All events from the first two seasons happen but are not as they seem.

Catra had done this a thousand times before. She snuck out of the barracks and pretended she would run away. She had done this since childhood, trecking out to the edge of the Whispering Woods to look at it. It was a once a month venture, though sometimes it would end up being more often. Catra had to get out of the Frightzone, even if it was just for an hour or two. It wasn't technically out of the Frightzone, but one careful step and she would be. She never dared; she was afraid that she would never come back. The only thing that kept her from plunging headfirst into the labyrinth of trees was Adora. Adora was waiting for her in their bed, probably dreaming about their training for the following day. She would be distraught if she ever woke up to find Catra gone. The thought made Catra's stomach twist every time she even considered stepping a toe into that forest.

Catra left because she was angry. Her situation was getting worse by the minute: the training exercises were becoming mundane, the meals were insufferable, Shadow Weaver's treatment of her growing worse with each passing cycle of the moon, no hope of promotion in her future. The number of times she had been tempted to just let the woods swallow her whole was staggering. She took a deep breath and took in the fresh air, counting the fleeting moments before she had to retreat into the smog-filled air and loud noises from the machinery. It would be a matter of hours before she would have to get out of bed, Adora's cheerful smile tugging at her heartstrings, forcing her out of bed better than any punishment ever could.

As she sat at the edge of the woods, Catra saw something unexpected. There was a flash of purple light not far into the tree line. Catra only saw the occasional squirrel or rabbit in the woods. Even the _animals_ were too intelligent to get near the Frightzone, knowing any scrap of food they managed to find would not be worth the hassle. That's why it was especially suspicious at nearly three in the morning. Catra felt pulled towards it, her feet walking her into the woods for the first time. She neared a clearing, the woods didn't appear to trick her this time. She wondered if perhaps the stories weren't as accurate as the senior cadets of her youth had told.

In the middle of the clearing were two people frantically arguing with each other while trying to keep the other quiet. One was purple and sparkly while the other was oddly dressed. _And armed_ , Catra noted. They were both obvious rebels, most likely lost in the woods. Catra could take them out and get rewarded. No, she would likely be punished for being out of the barracks. It wouldn't matter if the girl was the princess of Brightmoon, Shadow Weaver would hurt her for insubordination. And with her luck, the girl was probably the daughter of a wheelwright or a farmer. Two rebels weren't worth getting her ass beat, not tonight anyway. Catra moved to go back to the Frightzone, back to her warm bed with Adora when something cracked under her foot. 

Both rebels turned and spotted her before she could process what had happened. She had looked to see if there was anything around that would give away her position but there _hadn't been_ . Maybe this forest _was_ haunted and the Weeping Princess was going to take her away like Shadow Weaver so often threatened. Instead, it was some rebel with a bow that shot an arrow that released a net. Catra tried to claw her way out of it, the two of them rapidly approaching her. 

"Oh. My. God. We are SO sorry! We thought you were part of the Horde, let us get you out of there," the boy took out a small knife and cut away the net surrounding her. Catra's heart was still racing. They were... freeing her? The girl offered her hand and Catra hesitantly took it, pulling herself up. She was glad she had left her Horde pin under the mattress, otherwise, these two might have hauled her to the rebellion. Well, what was left of it, meaning she would have been dragged to Brightmoon. She would be held prisoner and Shadow Weaver wouldn't have bothered to send anyone to get her back. She wasn't precious like Adora was. Shadow Weaver would be thrilled she was finally out of her hair. 

"See, Bow! I _told_ you! We're _nowhere_ near the Horde! How we ended up near Halfmoon I'll never know, but your tracker pad is glitching and we're _lost_!" 

"Whoa there Sparkles, you two are going a million miles a minute. What's Halfmoon?" Catra didn't know why she was interested. She should just go home and get some sleep while she still could. She was wasting her time on these two who were going to get lost in this forest for days. A sweet, warm body was calling her like a siren. She could hear Adora sigh in her sleep when Catra finally curled up by her feet.

"Wait, you're _not_ from Halfmoon?" The boy looked confused. 

"Never heard of it," Catra shook her head. 

"N-never? But Bow, I thought all Magicats lived in Halfmoon right?" The girl looked just as confused as the boy did. 

"Yeah, that's what I was taught, that the Magicats went underground into Halfmoon when the war started to take a turn for the worse," Bow lifted his hand to his chin as he contemplated what was being said. "So, where are you from then?" 

"First, I'm not telling a _stranger_ where I live. Second, what the hell is a Magicat?" 

"You are!" The girl gestured up and down Catra's body, "You know, kind of a cat, kind of a human? Rulers of Halfmoon, the underground kingdom? Queen C'yra of D'riluth the second, the scourge of Hordak's armies? You _seriously_ don't know?" Catra could feel a lump in her throat. The one time she asked Shadow Weaver where she came from Shadow Weaver had given a reply that was cruel and not helpful. Catra had never seen anyone else like her. There were others? She had thought the Horde killed them all and she was the last. 

"Glimmer, where are our manners? I'm Bow, this is Glimmer," he gave her a wide smile. 

"Catra." Was this why the woods was beckoning to her? Why the woods let her see the purple flash of light? She had a home, a real home. A home where someone loved her, where people looked like her, talked like her, _smelled_ like her, maybe even wanted her.

"Crazy idea, why don't you come with us? We can get you to Brightmoon and Queen Angella can help you find your people! She knows all the rulers on Etheria, I'm sure she could get you home!" Bow grabbed her hand and Catra felt reluctant to pull away. 

"I can't, I have someone who needs me," Catra shook her head. She couldn't leave her. 

"Why don't you go back and get them? We can follow you," Glimmer suggested. 

"I could leave, no one would care _but_ her. But they would never let her go, she's too valuable." Bow and Glimmer shared a concerned glance. 

"Catra, are you a prisoner of the Horde?" Bow whispered. _Was she?_ Catra was sure they had taken her after some battle or another, adding her to the ranks of child soldiers they hoped to brainwash. But she had stayed, so did that make her a prisoner? Even if it was only for Adora, did that make her a captive? She could have left at any time, hardly anyone watched her as a child. A child soldier or two deserting was not the Horde's top priority. Many of her former teammates had abandoned them and there wasn't a single patrol squad sent to look for them. 

"I mean they took me when I was a baby, so I'm going to say yes?" Catra shrugged. The last thing she wanted was for them to attack her when the woods had shifted. She had noticed it start to move in the background. Glimmer started to tear up. Was _everyone_ in the rebellion weepy? Catra had known that the Horde was evil but she hadn't thought the Rebellion was any better. They probably had an army of child soldiers at their beck and call as well. With Catra never being near the front lines, how was she to know for certain they didn't? 

"Catra, you can leave now! We can help you! Your parents must be worried sick!" Glimmer was clutching her chest. _My parents think I'm dead if they aren't themselves_ , Catra thought.

"I'm _not_ leaving her," Catra growled, ripping her hand away from Bow. She could see blue eyes crying, hear Shadow Weaver calling her a deserter. She feared Adora would believe her. She couldn't lose Adora. Adora was all she had. There was no guarantee that those in Halfmoon wanted her. They could have thrown her into the woods to get rid of her. It was possible her family _hadn't_ wanted her. Adora wanted her and she wanted Adora. What more could she ask for in this horrible life? 

"Is there no way you could sneak her out? Queen Angella could give you both protection," Bow pled. She could see the naivety in their eyes. 

"You two _don't get it_. Shadow Weaver will send the whole damn army to keep Adora. She's her protege, her _pet_. She would burn Brightmoon to the ground if it meant getting Adora back and your precious rebellion can't stop her." She would make a catskin rug by the time she was done with Catra when she got hold of her. 

"Wait, you know Shadow Weaver? Hordak's second in command?" Glimmer looked at her disbelievingly. 

"I think I would remember someone who beat me nearly every day since before I can remember." 

"If you can't leave..." Glimmer grabbed the tracker pad from Bow, "Spy on the Horde for us." 

"What?! Are you crazy, Shadow Weaver will kill me if she finds out!" 

" _If_. If she finds out, which she _won't_. You snuck out of the Frightzone, the _middle_ of the _Frightzone_ and didn't get caught. I'm betting you did it before and that you can do it again. You could send us information that could help the Rebellion. _When_ we win, we'll make sure you and Adora live a comfortable life and we'll help you find your family. And if things get too dangerous we'll pull you out!"

"Glimmer, this is a _bad_ idea," Bow grabbed Glimmer's shoulder, "Catra would be putting her life in danger, we _can't_ ask her to do that. It isn't right." 

"She's in danger every moment she's in the Frightzone! You heard what she said Bow! Shadow Weaver _beats_ her! It's the Horde, they'll just kill her when she stops being useful! If she can't leave, this is the best we can offer her!" Catra contemplated her options. She could stay in the Horde, maybe become a Force Captain when Shadow Weaver died. _If_ she died, Catra wasn't sure if that witch would _ever_ die. She could be with Adora but not the way she wanted. The Horde didn't allow those relationships. Catra had seen cadets younger than her flogged for _kissing._ Catra had been punished for _looking_ at Adora too long. 

Catra didn't trust these two. The girl had jumped to spying the moment Catra wasn't willing to go with them. Her plan was probably to convince Catra to accompany them to Brightmoon, then throw her in a dungeon, torture the information out of her. If Glimmer could get her to cooperate without her kicking and screaming to Brightmoon that was just a bonus. The boy was protesting _too much_ , goading her into making a choice she could regret. What if she could have both? Spy, for now, keeping her security in the Horde. If the Rebellion turned the tide then she could collect on the debt owed to her. If not, none would be the wiser. The Rebellion would be crushed and no one would know of her deception save herself.

"What will I get if I do this?" Catra eyed them carefully. It would have to be a whole lot better than the Force Captains got. Catra wasn't about to risk her skin for an increased ration in some Rebellion encampment while she fought a war that was never hers.

"What do you want?" Glimmer asked.

"What can you give?" Catra countered. She wasn't going to short sell herself. She didn't know what this girl could give but she wasn't going to be duped. She had Adora to think about, not just herself. If all she gave was freedom from the Horde but nothing else she was worthless. 

"My mother is the _Queen_ of Brightmoon. She could give you a lordship, lands, a castle, servants, wealth. If you give us information, I _swear to you_ we will make it worth your while," Glimmer spoke with determination. They needed her, the Rebellion was in shambles after all. Catra had no attachment to the Horde. Even if she became a Force Captain the most she would receive was a room to herself. The thought of having land, money, power? That was _never_ something she had imagined.

"Deal," Catra extended her hand. Glimmer took it and shook. Glimmer handed her the tracker pad. 

"I think this is a _terrible_ idea," Bow started with a sigh, "But you'll be able to message us with that. I'll show you how. If you're going to do this, you need to be stealthy." 

"Let's get one thing straight, Croptop. I'm _always_ stealthy." 

* * *

"Why were you late today?" Adora huffed, pushing items into her locker. Catra had known Adora wouldn't be happy. She wasn't there when Adora woke up, which put her nerves on edge. She was late for the training simulation, for which Adora would be scolded. Catra could hear Shadow Weaver telling Adora to keep her pet in line. 

"I'm always late," Catra retorted. 

"Yeah, but never _that_ late. And you weren't in bed this morning," Adora pointed out. 

"I had to clear my head." Catra couldn't tell her that a rebel named Bow taught her how to message the Rebellion and she had to stow away the device somewhere no one would find it. Catra had weighed whether or not to tell Adora. It tugged at her heart that she chose to lie to her. Adora craved Shadow Weaver's approval too much to risk it. "Besides, your face when you saw me? Priceless, you were like 'Ah, no! Betrayal!'," Catra laughed. 

"Oh, come on, Catra. We're senior cadets now. I can't believe you're still pulling such childish, immature... is that a mouse?" Adora cried pointing towards the ceiling.

"What? Where?" Catra bristled. Adora dissolved into laughter and Catra felt annoyance rising.

"Are you ever not going to fall for that?"

"I don't know. Are you ever going to let it go? That was one time," Catra crossed her arms.

"I know, but for some reason, it's always funny," Adora chuckled as Catra leaned against the locker next to her. She could never get enough of Adora's laugh, the way her nose scrunched up and her eyes watered, how she clutched her stomach. 

"Adora." Adora and Catra tensed. Catra should have noticed Shadow Weaver approaching. She glared at the interruption as Adora stood at attention. Catra didn't bother to move from her position. There was no reason to change her behavior. Catra had the irrational fear that Shadow Weaver somehow knew what she was doing but she pushed it aside.

"Shadow Weaver," Adora saluted. 

"You have done well. You've completed your training course in record time." Catra held the urge to roll her eyes. _Yeah, and I did without any sleep._

"Uh, well, that wasn't just me. You know, Catra did too." Adora wrapped her arm around Catra’s shoulder. 

"Ah, yes. How someone as unmotivated as you completed the course in that time, I'll never know," Shadow Weaver glared at her. 

"Always serving up those pep talks, huh, Shadow Weaver?" 

"Silence! Do not be flippant with me, cadet." Shadows invaded her space but it wasn't anything Catra wasn't used to. 

"Sorry, Shadow Weaver," Catra sighed. 

"Adora, walk with me." Adora looked at Catra longingly, but Catra shrugged and leaned against the locker. If she wanted to spend time with that awful witch that was her decision. Catra had work to do.

* * *

"What'd she say? Hey, what's this?" Catra took the badge off of Adora after pouncing on her. 

"Hey, give it back!" Adora cried as she jumped away. 

"No way! You've been promoted?" Catra couldn't contain her excitement. This was all Adora wanted, she had worked tirelessly since childhood. 

"Well, kind of. I mean, yeah, I guess. Heh. But it's not a big deal," Adora replied shyly. 

"Are you kidding? This is awesome! We're gonna see the world and conquer it. Adora, I need to blow something up," Catra said excitedly. Who needed those rebels when she and Adora would be calling the shots?

"Um," Adora started. 

"What?" 

"Shadow Weaver says you're not coming," Adora looked away. 

"What? My time was just as good as yours today! What is her problem with me?" Catra whined. She had done just as well as Adora on _no sleep_. Why couldn't Shadow Weaver see her potential for once? Catra was beyond the skills of their teammates. She wasn't a heavy hitter like Adora but she made up for it with speed. 

"I mean, you are kind of disrespectful."

"Why should I respect her? She's bitter that she doesn't have any real power that doesn't come from Hordak and everyone knows it. I guess it sure must be easy being a people pleaser like you," Catra growled.

"I am not a pe-" Catra didn't bother to listen to the rest as she climbed the building. She was going to stick to her plan. Shadow Weaver was never going to see her as anything more than Adora's pet, her sidekick. Back to plan A, she pulled out the tracker pad from under the ledge. It would be at least fifteen minutes before Adora got up to her. 

_Update: Adora made Force Captain. Will send information soon. - Catra_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, I know I should be working towards finishing my high school AU but I can do both right? I hope you guys enjoy this, I've been planning this for quite some time. It's Catra centered, though there may be a few Adora centered chapters. I'm real excited about this, especially writing more about Magicats. Please comment it means the world to me! Also if you're here from Hurt Less, you're a rock star and I adore you.


	2. You Must Let Go

Catra woke to no familiar body in her bed. This wasn't unusual, Adora routinely started her day before Catra got up. She would come back to wake Catra up, that had never changed. What had changed was Adora had left in the middle of the night to go back into the Whispering Woods. Catra accidentally fell asleep while she was waiting for her to return, a side effect of her solo journey into those woods. Shadow Weaver must have called her away for her Force Captain duties.

Catra stretched across the bed. Catra wondered if she would be allowed into Adora's new room. If not she could sneak herself in. She had traveled through the vents plenty of times. Having to get up early to report back to the barracks for bed checks was going to be a hassle, but it was one that she didn't mind if it was for Adora. It might be nice to have some private time together. Catra shook her head as she got off the bed. She couldn't afford to think like that. Adora would never jeopardize her promotion even if she wanted Catra _that_ way. _Which she doesn't_ , Catra reminded herself, pulling the corners of the blanket to the top of the bed. Shadow Weaver was going to ridicule her bed making skills like always but her precious Adora wasn't there to make the bed anymore. 

"Catra, Shadow Weaver needs you. She sounded pretty mad," Lonnie approached her from behind, a mocking smirk on her face. Lonnie loved to gloat when Catra got in trouble but Catra wouldn't give her the satisfaction. She stalked off towards Shadow Weaver's room. It wasn't even 6 am and she had _somehow_ done _something_ wrong. 

* * *

"Where is Adora?" Shadow Weaver snarled. She was standing over a large cauldron, shadows surrounding her. Catra was leaning on the wall. She had been taken away from morning drills for _this_? Didn't Shadow Weaver have _better_ things to do than worry about the whereabouts of _one_ Force Captain? 

"For the last time, I don't know. You think I keep her on a leash?" If Adora wasn't back yet there was a good reason. Adora wouldn't get lost in the woods she was too smart for that. She would come back when she was done and whatever she had would be a worthy excuse, that much Catra was sure of. It would probably be so amazing that Shadow Weaver would create a holiday just for Adora.

"I know you're lying," Shadow Weaver turned to look at her, "You two are close. She would never depart without telling you." 

"Then I guess she let us both down, huh?" Catra wouldn't betray Adora. Shadow Weaver could flay her within an inch of her life and she wouldn't squeal. 

"Have it your way. I already know where she is. We've been tracking her." 

"Uh, then why did you ask me?" Catra approached her, irritation seeping into her words.

"Because you are going to bring her back."

"I don't think so," Catra turned to leave but Shadow Weaver stopped her, pain piercing every inch of her body. Catra hated this trick. It wasn't that she didn't like to fight dirty. It had its uses but Shadow Weaver didn't know _when_ to use it. She was a sadist nothing more. She didn't use it to her advantage. Catra would have only used it when a serious point needed to be made, not at _every_ opportunity. It's an empty threat if no one thinks you would go through with killing them. 

"Your _insolence_ will not protect her. You will do as I ask," Shadow Weaver put her hands around Catra's shoulders, whispering in her ear. A shiver ran down Catra's spine. 

"Oh yeah? Or what?" Catra was afraid to ask. Shadow Weaver grabbed her face, twisting it back towards her. 

"Or you will suffer the consequences in her place," Shadow Weaver hissed. She threw Catra across the room. Catra hadn't caught herself in time, a loud thud on the floor. A sharp pain greeted Catra in her back but she didn't let out a sound. She knew better than to give Shadow Weaver the satisfaction. She pushed herself up ignoring the searing pain that remained. "Your team will leave in twenty minutes. Don't keep them waiting. You are dismissed." 

"Yes Shadow Weaver," Catra muttered. Catra had just enough time to run an errand. She tried not to run; bringing attention to herself wasn't on the agenda. 

"Where do you think you're going?" Lonnie stepped in front of her. 

"The bathroom," Catra lied. She had to warn the rebels. She couldn't just roll up with guns blazing. And if they had Adora she could convince them to give her back. Adora was crucial to the entire plan. 

"You don't have time for that, get in the tank. Or do I have to get Shadow Weaver?" 

"Fine." 

* * *

The village was engulfed in flames. Catra cursed Lonnie for this. She wasn't sure things would be all that different if she had warned them, but she couldn't get the bitter taste out of her mouth. She watched children fleeing with their parents. Had her mother tried to get her out in time? Had her mother run through tanks and soldiers desperately trying to get her away from it? Did her mother _die_ trying to save her? How many more had to suffer? She couldn't help these people but she could help Adora. She could help them get their homes back. It would take longer but if she gave enough information the Rebellion could win. She needed Adora. She would be the first to admit she couldn't live without her. Adora was the only reason to stay alive in the Horde. It wasn't just that she couldn't get any information without Adora. Adora was her whole world, her moon, her sun. If she couldn't have Adora with her the Horde could burn the planet to ashes. 

Catra saw Adora run out in front of her tank, arms raised. It was so like Adora to stare down a tank without flinching. Catra slowed the tank to a halt, releasing a breath she hadn't known she was holding. Her muscles relaxed, a smile forming. Adora was safe, the Rebels hadn't hurt her. They had probably remembered her name from when Catra mentioned her. They had likely messaged her to tell her Adora was safe with them and find a way to return her. They couldn't jeopardize their fragile relationship with Catra; they wouldn't take Adora from her. Catra opened the hatch to the surface.

"Adora!" She called. 

"Catra?"Catra jumped down onto Adora, unable to contain her joy. 

"They let me drive a tank. Can you believe it?" 

"Catra, I don't understand. Why are you here?" Catra sat up, still straddling Adora. She didn't want to stop touching her, she didn't want Adora to disappear somehow. 

"Uh, duh, we came to find you," Catra pulled Adora to her feet, "Cover for me Catra, no one will know I'm gone. Seriously, did you just _immediately_ get captured right after you snuck out or... what are you wearing?" Catra pointed to the flower in Adora's hair. She wasn't sure she liked it. But if Adora liked it she could get her a thousand when they were rich on Rebellion lands. Catra wanted to tell Adora, tell her all the things she was going to give her. They wouldn't have to be at the Horde much longer. Adora would have anything she wanted and more. 

"Uh-" Adora threw the flower to the ground. Citizens were running for freedom behind them, explosions not far off. Catra knew they had to move soon. "Look, there's no time. We have to put a stop to this." 

"What? Why?" Catra had no interest in saving these people. It could tip Shadow Weaver off. She wished she could tell Adora. The long game was important. It was something Shadow Weaver and Adora didn't seem to understand. They always wanted immediate solutions with instant results. 

"Because this is a civilian town. Look around! These aren't insurgents, they're innocent people."

"Yeah sure. Innocent people who kidnapped a Horde officer," Catra rolled her eyes. She wanted to tell Adora that if she thought all day about who deserved what she would be miserable. Had Catra deserved what she got from Shadow Weaver? Had any of them? Catra grabbed her hand and started pulling her towards the tank. "Come on, let's get you back to the Fright Zone. Shadow Weaver is _freaking_ out. It'd be funny if she weren't such a terrible person," Catra laughed.

"Catra, no. I can't go back," Adora pulled her hand away from Catra. Catra kept going for a moment until she realized Adora let go. "Not until the Horde leaves this town alone. You have to help me." 

"What are you saying?" Catra turned to face her.

"I'm saying this is wrong. They've been lying to us, manipulating us. Hordak, Shadow Weaver, all of them." Catra stared at her, dumbfounded. She had never thought Adora was so... stupid. Naive, trusting, loyal to a fault but _never_ stupid. 

"Duh! You _just_ figured that out? Manipulation is Shadow Weaver's whole thing. She's been messing with our heads since we were kids." 

"How could you possibly be okay with that?" Adora looked disappointed in her. _How dare she?_

"Because. It doesn't matter what they do to us. The two of us look out for each other. And soon we'll be the ones calling the shots. Now, can we go home already?" An explosion went off behind them and Adora jumped. 

"I'm _not_ going home, Catra. I can't. Not after everything I've seen," Adora grabbed Catra's wrist, "Come with me. You don't have to go back there. We can fix this." It hit Catra like a brick. All this time, their whole lives, Adora had ignored her suffering. She had turned the other cheek. But she saw the Horde hurting strangers and _that_ was what made her want to leave? Not _Catra_ , the girl who shared her bed. Not _Catra_ , the one person who _loved_ her, so much that it _hurt_. These people she didn't know, they were _enough_ for her. Catra was risking her life to get Adora out of the Horde. All it took was some strangers getting hurt and Adora was ready to abandon ship. Not Catra, never Catra. Any time Catra had brought up running away Adora chastised her. Catra had made her peace with living in the Horde with Adora for so long. 

"Are you _kidding_? You've known these people for _what_ , a couple of hours? And you're going to throw everything away for _them_?" _You're willing to throw_ **_me_ ** _away for them?_ "Ugh, what happened to you?" Had all those glances, all those embraces, all those moments been nothing? Had Catra been so blind not to see it? 

"I don't know. But I have to do something. I'm sorry Catra," Adora turned away. Catra's heart burned, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. If Adora thought for a moment that she was ever going to let her go after everything she was _wrong_. Adora was _hers_ and she was Adora's. Catra _needed_ her. Adora's savior complex could rot. Adora had never lifted a finger to get Catra out of the Horde and now that Catra was _finally_ making plans for their escape Adora suddenly cared? Catra aimed the stun baton and fired into Adora's back. Adora cried out and fell to the ground. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Catra!" Adora yelled, turning towards her. Catra panicked, firing again. Adora fell to the ground writhing in pain. 

"I'm sorry! It was a reflex!" It wasn't _entirely_ true. Catra wanted Adora to suffer for what she was doing to her. Catra didn't like to feel weak, didn't want to face this one-sided relationship for what it was. If she could just take Adora home she could go back to living in her dream world. 

" _Why_ are you doing this?" Catra stood frozen. 

"Because you _left_ me!" _And you never had_ **_any_ ** _intention of looking back. I was_ **_always_ ** _your pet, your sidekick. I'm_ **_disposable_ ** _to you._ "And if I don't bring you back Shadow Weaver's gonna have my head. So enough with your weird little identity crisis and let's go home already. Or do I need to zap you again?" Catra shrieked as something sparkly flew in her face, taking a few steps back. When she looked up there was a net around her causing her to fall to the ground. Catra aimed the taser at Glimmer and Adora but they disappeared. 

"Adora!" They had tricked her. They didn't want her, they wanted Adora. They had done something to her, that was why Adora was acting strangely. Catra ripped the net apart and tackled Bow to the ground. She pushed his bow to his chest, pinning him to the ground. "We had a _deal_! Give her back to me!" Bow threw her off, clamoring back to his feet.

"Catra, _calm down_! The deal is _still_ on! There was just a complication." 

"I don't care! Give Adora back to me or I will slit you clean through," Catra screamed. 

"Catra, Adora is _She-Ra_. The Rebellion needs her!" 

" _I need her_!" Tears flooded her, "I don't care about your fucking Rebellion! I need her!"

"Catra, if you love her you _have_ to let her go. Do you _really_ want her to stay with the Horde? Is that why you agreed to spy for us, to leave her there?" A choked sob escaped Catra's lips. 

"If she leaves I have _nothing_." Of course, Adora _had_ to be the savior of the Rebellion. What could Catra _possibly_ offer her when this was all over. A lordship looked like nothing now. They would give Adora everything, possibly a whole kingdom. "I need more than you're giving me." 

"We can't give you much more than we already are." 

"It's not _enough_! You're taking my _whole_ world! I want the Crimson Waste! Give it to me or I'll _drag_ Adora back and let Shadow Weaver wipe her mind," Catra's sobs were louder, more persistent. If she was a queen _maybe_ that would be enough to get Adora back. Maybe she would finally be _enough_ for her. 

"Done! If you want that shitty place you can have it!" Glimmer yelled, running towards Bow. Catra hadn’t noticed her. 

"Glimmer, you can't promise that!" Bow turned. 

"Bow, she asked for the _easiest_ kingdom to give away. The previous royals are traitors. I'll get my mom to agree, just let us keep Adora." Catra stood there for what felt like an eternity. How could she just let these people take Adora? _Because you love her._

"Take care of her," it was all Catra could get out. She stood defeated. 

"We promise," Glimmer put her hand on Catra's shoulder. 

"Don't let her forget me," Catra whispered. She pulled away as the tanks and soldiers surrounded them. A giant woman walked out into the middle of the fighting and stabbed her sword into the ground. She was glowing as the ground shattered around them. Catra stayed behind the lines of soldiers, watching as the woman cut a tank in half. She wanted a better look at the parasite that was taking her friend from her. Soldiers attacked her with stun batons and she deflected them like they were nothing, not even budging. Soldiers retreated, tails between their legs. The goliath turned and stared through her with piercing blue eyes, not recognizing her. 

The glowing stopped and She-Ra collapsed. All Catra could do was stare as the dust cleared and it was Adora, _her Adora_ staring at her. Guilt was riddled across her face as she stared at Catra. Why should Adora feel guilty? This was all Catra ever wanted for her. Adora was free.

"Catra?" Adora called out to her. It was a siren song, crashing a ship into the ocean. Catra could veer off course and let Adora take her. But Catra would have nothing to give but herself. And Adora had just reminded her that she was _never enough_. So she turned and didn't look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter ripped my soul out. It kills me that my baby doesn't feel enough. I hope you guys enjoyed it, the next chapter isn't going to rely as heavily on the show, which is more fun for me. Don't forget to comment, I get so excited to see them!


	3. Has She Mentioned Me?

Catra had a list of problems a mile long. First, the Rebels had taught her how to communicate over video with them and expected her to do so at least once a month. _Joy_ , she would have to look at the faces she hated most in the world. Catra had to find a new Force Captain to latch onto but that wasn't going to be easy. Shadow Weaver was in a piss-poor mood and would be for the rest of time now that Adora was never coming home. Catra felt the same when she did feel things. Her brain had alternated between numbness and crushing sorrow. 

Catra's sleep schedule was a mess. In less than three days her whole life had gone to shambles. Being awake meeting the Rebels, being awake waiting for Adora to come home, being awake waiting for Shadow Weaver to come and kill her for losing Adora. The very absence of Adora alone had made it nearly impossible to sleep. She had the whole bed to herself now and it felt _unnatural_. Catra had spent the first half of the night staring at the ceiling waiting for her murder to happen. After that didn't come to fruition she tried curling up at the bottom of the bed, praying for sleep. _She couldn't._ The bed was too cold, even with the covers over her. There wasn't the pleasant white noise that was Adora's snores or murmurs. The other cadets still made noise but it wasn't the same. Catra had stuffed the blanket into her mouth to stifle the sobs. Kyle was a light sleeper and the last thing she wanted was his _pity_. 

Catra knew it was better for her sleep schedule to be disrupted. She couldn't get up early to contact the Rebels because Shadow Weaver would become suspicious. Lonnie would notice, always up and preening herself at 4:30 am like Adora used to do. And Lonnie was a massive tattletale, it was one of her only defining qualities. Catra had to sleep for a few hours, get up around 2 am and send messages or receive the call. This morning it was receiving a call. Glimmer had been adamant that they talk about potential Force Captains she could attach on to. Catra didn't know why the call was necessary. It hadn't even been a day; if that Princess thought she could pull someone out of her ass she was _wrong_. It wasn't as if Catra hadn't been wracking her brain. 

She had to pick a Force Captain that worked closely with Shadow Weaver. Most Force Captains had little contact with the second in command unless they were trouble or exceeded expectations. If they were the first, Shadow Weaver mostly likely didn't tell them anything worthwhile. If they were the latter, they had worked hard to gain her trust, which was _worse_. Anyone Shadow Weaver trusted was a _rat_. She valued total subordination, gullibility, and traitors. Anyone who wanted to get a gold star for telling Shadow Weaver about kids stealing rations, that was the kind of _scum_ she paid attention to. Adora was gullible and loyal, but she wasn't about to tell on little _kids_ for being _hungry_. 

Catra felt as if she aged considerably overnight as she climbed to the ledge. Everything hurt, physically and emotionally. She had never been this tired in her life. She knew she would have to be up in a matter of hours. Without Adora, Lonnie was sure to dump a bucket of water on her head if she was late. The training drills for the next morning were not going to be pleasant, not that they ever were. But at least before Adora left they could get through them. Shadow Weaver would make them all do it more times than Catra could count because of Kyle's screw-ups, Lonnie's shortsightedness, and Rogelio's growing concern for Kyle. All Catra wanted to do was crawl into her bed and wait for death to take her. Instead, she was reaching for a trackpad and pressing a few buttons. 

Catra took in the breeze as she waited for the Princess to answer. It was colder in the Frightzone tonight. If Catra hadn't known better it was like Adora took all warmth with her. The pink and purple girl appeared on the screen with her friend, both yawning. Catra hoped they were both just as tired as she was. 

"Evening Catra!" Bow smiled. Catra wanted to punch the grin off his face. 

"Can we get this over with?" Catra drawled. They knew full well she had nothing to report. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours since Adorea left. But sure, Catra could pull a Force Captain from the sky. Why didn't she just pull a magic wand that could end the war out of her ass while she was at it?

"Well, how is finding a new Force Captain going?" Glimmer yawned. 

"How the _fuck_ do you think it's going, _Princess_?" Catra spat.

"No need to be so hostile Catra," Bow started.

"Say that again, I _dare_ you," Catra glared at him. 

"We wanted to make sure you were okay Catra. You weren't looking so hot when we left you. We _know_ it's unrealistic to expect you to find someone to get the information from this early," Glimmer sighed. They were worried that she would change her mind. That she would decide her desire to have Adora back would be greater than her desire to give Adora the world. Catra understood that fear; she was afraid of it herself. Every second since she let Adora go had been hell. There were moments when she wanted to march to the Rebellion and grab Adora by her ponytail and drag her back. 

"I'm just _peachy_ Princess. I've been going through the list, I haven't found anyone yet. Shadow Weaver only meets with Force Captains that are _ass kissers_ or who are _incompetent_. I need a mix of both and it's proving difficult. You'll get your information one way or another." Catra rubbed her temples in exhaustion. Doing this once a month was torture. It was explaining espionage to _literal children_. Sparkles may be a general of the Rebellion but she had no idea what she was doing and it was going to get Catra killed if she wasn't careful. 

"We have faith that you'll find someone. You seem very analytical about your picks, we're not worried," Bow smiled again. His pity was getting on her nerves. 

"Can I be dismissed? Or is there something you need from me?" Catra needed sleep. Her irritation was rising and she didn't want to make any rash decisions while sleep deprived. Catra liked to be able to think her plans through. 

"Of course Catra, unless there's anything you need of _us_ ," Glimmer looked at her, suggesting there was something Catra wanted from them. Catra was too tired to pretend that she didn't want anything.

"How is she?" Catra's voice was low, filled with the grief she couldn't conceal. 

"She's doing well! She's adjusting well," Bow reassured her. Of course, Adora was doing fine. Why would she miss her the same way Catra missed her? 

"No, she isn't, she's a total wreck," Glimmer explained, "She could have gotten herself killed in the village today. On top of that, my mother isn't thrilled to have a former Horde soldier in our midst. She was reluctant to trust you as it is, _two_ is stretching it." 

"Glimmer, don't say that!" Bow whispered frantically. 

"That sounds more like Adora," Catra laughed, "Tell your mommy dearest that if she touches a hair on Adora's head she'll be sorry." 

"I will not relay your obvious threat to my mother. But I assure you she is being well taken care of. She was given a room, a very nice space for herself. She'll be well fed and clothed, no harm will come to her Catra." Catra breathed a sigh of relief. Part of her had been terrified that they would throw her in a dungeon and only let her out when they needed She-Ra.

"I didn't know how many things weren't normal in the Horde. You should see how excited she gets about certain things, it's adorable!" Bow said. He didn't deserve to see Adora's smile. None of them did.

"Has she... has she mentioned me?" Catra kept the tears at bay, kept the lump in her throat from growing. She wasn't going to cry in front of these people again. 

"Not yet, but it's been _really_ busy for her. She's still pretty guarded, it might take a while for her to come out of her shell," Bow admitted. _She won't think about you. Why would she when she has something better? She doesn't need you._ "I'm sure she misses you Catra. She hasn't been in a great mood since getting here." 

"We could tell her. Then you could talk to her whenever you want," Glimmer suggested. Catra thought about it for a moment. Her desire to tell Adora the truth was overwhelming. She wanted Adora's smiles, her attention. But she wasn't a fool, it was too dangerous. What if Shadow Weaver got ahold of Adora and found out? What if she had to fight Catra and Adora couldn't keep herself from smiling or from pulling punches? It was safer for everyone if nothing changed.

"No can do Sparkles. You two don't know Adora, _not like I do_ ," Catra emphasized the last part, "If she knew, she would blow my cover eventually. It's better to keep her in the dark for now."

"You can always change your mind. I respect your decision," Glimmer sighed.

"I'll give you a report if anything changes," Catra stated before shutting off the trackpad. She didn't owe them a long drawn out goodbye. They weren't friends, they were working together. Nothing more, nothing less.

* * *

Catra stormed back into the barracks after Lonnie harassed her. If she was lucky she could still get a nap but of course, that wasn't in the cards for her either. She flopped onto the bed and turned to see the drawings she had made of herself and Adora. She stared, wondering how they had changed so much. Why hadn't she noticed the Adora she knew fading away? The Adora she knew wouldn't leave her _here_. Not for strangers, not for anyone or anything. Anger welled up inside her as she scratched Adora's face. She regretted it but it didn't last long. Catra turned her attention to the blanket, shredding it. Catra punched the bed, cursing her existence. How had she been stupid enough to think that Adora might love _her_? Even the woman who raised her didn't love her, why should _this_ be any different? Catra wiped her tears away, wondering _why_. 

"Catra!" Shadow Weaver appeared behind her. It startled Catra, making her hit her head. She got out of the bunk bed and crossed her arms in irritation.

"What do you want?"

"Impertinent as always, I see. With such a grand failure under your belt, it would benefit you to show more respect, cadet," Shadow Weaver warned, stroking her face, tugging Catra's chin towards her. 

"I did what you told me to do," Catra put her hands on her hips, "You were the one who didn't warn us there would be princesses there." 

"I gave you a simple task: bring back Adora. Instead, your squadron is ravaged, your war machines destroyed, and Adora is still missing." Shadow Weaver's smoke enveloped her. 

"News flash, old lady, if Adora wanted to come home, she'd be here right now. Adora's gone, she defected. And I'm starting to think she had the right idea. So maybe it's you who should be showing a little more respect to me!" Catra was tired of Shadow Weaver treating her like garbage. Adora was gone, she would have to accept it just like Catra did.

"Lies!" Shadow Weaver grew in size, towering over Catra. All of the lights burst, shattered glass scattered around the room. "I am out of patience to address your incompetence and your insubordination, cadet. You will answer to a higher power, Lord Hordak himself." 

* * *

  


Lord Hordak had made her a Force Captain. Catra couldn't believe it, but there on her chest was the badge to prove it. Someone had _finally_ seen what she could do, that she was worth something. It gave her a head rush. The way he had taken down Shadow Weaver had been comical. Catra had held back laughter almost every time he spoke to that old crone. Was this finally her time to come up in the world? Was she finally going to get everything she deserved, everything she worked so hard for?

A pang of sorrow rushed through her. It would be perfect if Adora had been here. If Adora had been here she never would have made Force Captain. Catra could hear Adora squealing when she found out Catra was a Force Captain. She would never hear it. If Adora knew now she would be disappointed in her. There was still a sliver of hope that Adora loved her, missed her, wanted her. It was small, but it had been for as long as she could remember. It was enough to keep her going, just as it had been then. Adora was the only thing on this planet Catra wanted. The recognition was nice for a change, but it wasn't Adora's. 

Catra made it to the ledge with relative ease. This whole ordeal had given her some energy, even though it was two in the morning yet again. She hadn't been able to get any sleep. All she wanted was to tell Adora, but who knew when she would see her again. She could do the next best thing, telling the people that she was currently surrounded by. Catra pulled out the pad and started carefully typing, making sure her message was clear. 

_Update: Hordak made me a Force Captain. Will send information about Shadow Weaver's plans when I can. Will see if I can get closer to Hordak. - Catra_

The best thing about this plan was that Shadow Weaver would _never_ suspect her. Not only did Shadow Weaver think she was worthless, she thought Catra would never do anything to jeopardize getting Adora back. She was wrong. Catra knew what this opportunity meant for Adora. Adora was finally free. _Then why did it feel like she was finally free of me, instead of free of the Horde?_ Why did it make her stomach churn every time she thought about her? She thought about Adora smiling and laughing with Bow and Glimmer and it made her sick. Maybe she let Glimmer sleep at the end of her bed too. 

Catra wished she didn't overanalyze everything. It caused her nothing but pain thinking about Adora in the Rebellion. She could have gone with her. Adora had offered, had told her they could run away together. Catra had fantasized about it every day since they were kids. When it came down to it Catra was a coward. Catra was afraid of the change, terrified of the unknown. At least in the Horde, she knew the demons that lurked in the walls. In the Rebellion it would be harder to tell which ones were safe and which ones weren't. It made Catra worry for Adora. Adora thought everything was black and white; if the Horde was good, the Rebellion must be evil. If the Horde was evil, the Rebellion must be good. Catra knew better. There were plenty of snakes in the Rebellion waiting to swallow Adora whole, ready to pray on her naivety and kindness. Adora needed Catra to keep her safe from the evils of the world, the more subtle ones. Catra needed Adora to remind her there were good things on the planet, even if they were few and far between. 

_Wonderful news! We knew you could do it! -Bow_

Why did that slight amount of praise make her feel better? Was so she so starved for any attention that she would take it from a fool? Catra knew the only one to give her positive attention was Adora. It explained why she needed it, the only source of her happiness was gone. The only person who thought she was worth anything was gone. Catra couldn't choke back tears anymore. She had spent the whole day trying to keep her emotions in. It was sorrow but it was also a _relief_. She had solved her problem without even trying. She had gotten the last laugh, Shadow Weaver would be fuming for weeks. Shadow Weaver would probably be more difficult to deal with, but at least she had gotten something for her troubles. Every bruise, every cut, every sharp zap that woman had inflicted on her seemed worth it, at least at this moment. 

Losing Adora didn't. Losing Adora felt like a punch in the gut. Catra felt hollow, a shell of who she once was. All the happiness, what little there was of it, had been sucked out of her. She pretended it was because she was giving it to Adora. Any amount of joy Adora was feeling from now on, that was because of _her_. She made the hardest decision of her life, letting Adora leave her. Oh, how Catra had wanted to be selfish. It would have been easy to force Adora to come home, let Shadow Weaver erase her mind. Catra would be able to play the hero when she got them out of the Horde later. Adora would never be the wiser. But Catra would know. Catra would have to live with stealing Adora away against her will. That was something she couldn't live with. Adora's face when she hit her with the taser still _haunted_ her, the look of utter betrayal etched into her brain. Someday that look would be replaced with how grateful Adora was that Catra helped destroy the Horde. Catra would make sure of that.

_Take care of Adora. She forgets to eat when she's anxious. - Catra_

That night Catra noticed that the blanket was already losing Adora’s scent. It made her sob harder, blanket shoved in her mouth to keep the noise down. Someday, it wouldn't smell like Adora at all. And that was a terrifying thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing sad Catra is so hard on me. Why am I such a sucker for slow burn? I split episode three into two days, even though I think it's supposed to be the same day. It just worked better for my story. Leave a comment or some kudos, it makes my day!


	4. Bad Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bow, Glimmer, and Catra aren't the only ones who can keep secrets.

Adora. It was all she could think about, seeing her again. Catra had counted the minutes, the hours, the days. She knew they would meet again soon. They attracted each other. They could be on the other side of the planet and they would still magnetize until they met in the middle. Catra was sure of that. Catra knew from the moment they had met that it was destiny. She had looked into young Adora’s eyes and she _knew_ that was the person she was meant for. 

Unfortunately, Shadow Weaver desperately wanted Adora back. It took all of Catra's composure not to tell her that she didn't _want_ her to come back. She did want her, but she would never let her come back to the Frightzone. Shadow Weaver was hell-bent on getting Adora back. Catra had a suspicion that it was to take Catra's job away and fill the spot with Adora. Catra couldn't let that happen either. No Force Captain position, no information, no rewards. Catra knew that and she wouldn't let that old woman ruin her plans. She knew she would be punished if she couldn't bring Adora back. It didn't matter. Catra would defy her all the same.

Things were more complicated than Catra had hoped. She thought Shadow Weaver would send her to get Adora alone or with her small team at the very least. None of them were particularly competent, she could have lost them easily. She could have gotten some information to Glimmer and then gone to visit Adora quickly. Shadow Weaver didn't trust her though, so she sent her with another Force Captain: Scorpia. Catra had her on the list but she had never met her. First impressions of her pointed to her being an ass-kisser. Catra knew she couldn't trust her as far as she could throw her. Shadow Weaver sent her to spy on her. Catra had a feeling that Shadow Weaver was suspicious of her. She most likely thought that Catra would see Adora again and desert. She _might_ if she was being honest. The fact that they had to travel by boat made it even worse. There was no escape in sight and Catra was one step away from a watery grave. Her crew was a disaster, she had a spy in her midst, and she was incredibly seasick. 

As Scorpia fired at the Sea Gate, Catra spotted Adora trying to fix it. Catra wanted to check on Adora, make sure she wasn't too hurt from being electrocuted, but she had a mission to complete first.

"Keep us going full speed. I have something more important to do," Catra jumped off the boat onto a rock, pushing herself towards the boat Glimmer was on. When she landed the pirate man tried to punch her, but she twisted his arm behind his back. He cried out in pain, but it served him right. 

"Sea Hawk, stop! She's a _friend_ ," Glimmer ran up to Catra. 

" _Love_ the welcoming committee, Princess. I would love to stay and chat, but I have more pressing matters to attend to," Catra pulled out a thumb drive and handed it to Glimmer.

"No way you got it already!" Glimmer squealed, taking it enthusiastically. "I can't believe you got us some information on the next sieges!"

"They're only minor ones because I don't have the clearance for anything else. But you should be able to stop more than a few villages from being destroyed. Also, sorry about this," Catra punched Glimmer in the face before making her way up to where Adora was. She couldn't be sure if Scorpia was watching her or not, she had to be careful. She felt bad for punching Glimmer in the face but what else could she do when she had a spy and the biggest tattletale on the planet on her crew?

* * *

"Wow. You know, the tiara actually gets _stupider_ the more I look at it," Catra laughed, perched on the edge of She-Ra's sword. 

"Catra, how did you find me?" Adora gasped as another shock ran through her. It almost made Catra wince. _Your friends told me where you were going to be. I always know where you are now. How would you feel if I told you that your “friends” lie to you constantly?_

"Did you actually think it'd be that easy to escape the Horde? I mean, I always knew you were kind of dumb, but come on," Catra leaned forward. She wanted to get closer to her, longed to touch her, caress her cheek as she once did. She settled for poking Adora's forehead.

"What's your plan? Insult me until I decide to rejoin the Horde?" Adora asked sarcastically. 

"I don't think Shadow Weaver is planning to give you much of a choice, but yeah, something like that," Catra raised her arm to bat at her, Adora blocking it with her golden wrist cuff. Adora buckled as she was shocked again and Catra jumped behind her. "Check it out. Looks like with you gone, I got your promotion." Catra circled, pointing at her pin. 

"Congratulations," Adora spat. That didn't sit well with Catra. The least Adora could do was be happy for her. She had worked even harder than Adora to get here. She hadn't been Shadow Weaver's favorite; she had to fight to get here. Hordak _himself_ had promoted her, something Adora could only dream of when she was in the Horde.

"Seems like only yesterday this was the thing you wanted most in the world. And now you're - ugh! Come on Adora, hasn't this all gone on long enough?" Catra circled her, taunting her. Adora's expression softened, the neon eyes fading to the light blue they had always been. That was her Adora. Not this giant towering over her. Adora's face had regret and longing. Catra had missed it. 

"I told you before, Catra. I'm not going back," Adora said adamantly. That annoyed Catra. She tried to remind herself that Adora didn't know all she was risking for her, but it didn't work. Catra swung at her, She-Ra getting three parallel scratch marks on her cheek. She whipped around She-Ra, swinging and clawing. Finally, she was face to face with Adora, grabbing her arm. She looked into her eyes, She-Ra's lifeless eyes and they weren't right. Catra punched her in the stomach and she fell to her knees. This ought to convince any onlookers that she was with the Horde, that she didn’t have any affection left for Adora. It made her stomach churn.

"This is what you left me for? Dress up games and a light show? And your new best friends are nowhere to be seen," Catra put her hand under Adora's chin, tilting it back so her mouth could reach Adora's ear. Adora shivered as Catra breathed near her. Catra wanted her to feel weak, wanted her to regret replacing her, leaving her. "When did you get so _weak_?" A blast of water came up and swept Catra away. It had caught her off guard, she let out a scream. The thing she remembered most from the encounter was Bow and Glimmer hugging Adora as Scorpia dragged her away. Catra was angry, but a louder voice in her head begged them to take care of her. 

* * *

The whole thing was a _bad idea_ , Catra could admit that to herself. Trekking through the Whispering Woods, sneaking into Brightmoon, climbing up the walls and through Adora's window, not a brilliant idea. She shouldn't have to sneak in, they should just let her walk in the front door with all the information she just gave them. Every time she helped them she risked getting sent to Beast Island. Or worse, if she was honest with herself. She was fairly sure the last spy Shadow Weaver caught was executed. She had heard some junior cadets taking bets on how many times the body would twitch after the head came off. It had made Catra feel queasy for the first time in years. 

Catra looked around the room. It was a bit better than her new Force Captain room. She wasn't sure what the waterfall was for but it was pretty to look at. The style of the room was too Princessy for Adora. It didn't fit her personality, but her scent lingered all over the room. Catra had checked under the pillow, and sure enough, there was a dagger under her pillow. It proved to her it was Adora's room, even if the dagger was imbedded with pretty stones. Her nose wrinkled when she saw the bed; she thought they would at least give her something _nicer_. The bed looked like it had come out of the Frightzone but with a purple blanket. This was how they treated the _savior of Etheria_? Catra would have to remind them who Adora was when she talked to them the next time. 

Catra couldn't leave things how she did. She was mad at Adora but it had been fleeting. A sad part of her wanted Adora to be proud of her for making Force Captain. They had trained their entire lives for it. Catra had always joked with Adora that she wouldn't become a Force Captain until after Shadow Weaver's funeral. Adora had always laughed and told her it wasn't true, even though they both knew it was. Adora was the only one with any faith in her abilities and Adora was mad at her. Catra couldn't leave it alone, she _had_ to see her. She had to make her smile, maybe make her laugh. Then she could slip away into the night. 

Catra heard laughing in the hallway. It was Adora and someone else. Catra hid behind one of the pillars on the balcony and waited. She didn't trust that Bow or Glimmer would have real acting skills if she was right there, staring them down. They might forget how to act in front of Adora and that could get her killed later. Catra listened to Adora exchanging pleasantries with Glimmer before shutting the door. Adora let out a loud sigh, walking towards her bed.

"Hey, Adora," Catra let out the smallest laugh from the end of it, seeing Adora jump as she came out of her hiding place.

"Catra! What are you doing here! You _can't_ be here!" Adora looked furious with her. Catra froze when she saw Adora's face. The claw marks were still there; they had faded into scars but they hadn't disappeared. Catra had thought the magic lady would be able to heal them without any marks left behind. She-Ra wasn't as powerful as everyone thought she was. 

"Why not?" Catra challenged, crossing her arms over her chest. Catra's mouth was dry, she couldn't stop staring at the perfect marks on Adora. 

"You can't seriously be so _smart_ and so _dense_ at the same time! If they find you, they'll put you in the dungeon and interrogate you!" Adora rubbed her forehead before looking up hopefully, "Unless... you changed your mind?" It tore at Catra's heart to hear Adora plead with her to stay. Catra wanted to tell her she would stay, to promise she wouldn't leave her. 

"Psh, not a chance. I just wanted to see how my favorite traitor is doing," Catra blew it off, touching the curtains that surrounded Adora's bed. "I see you're enjoying all the finer things in life."

"It's nice here, _Catra_. You would like it," Adora sighed, sitting on her bed. Catra decided not to argue that point. She couldn't say for certain whether she would like it or not, but she would like it better because _Adora_ was there. Catra leaned back against the wall, taking in Adora. She was exhausted, bags under her eyes. She was still _beautiful_ , golden hair falling out of her ponytail, white shirt stained. She stretched her arms over her head and it felt like Catra was transported back to a simpler time. 

"That much better than the Frightzone _huh_?" Catra scoffed. She would have to heckle Glimmer about Adora's sleep. Adora looked like a ghost wandering around. She had noticed She-Ra looked pale earlier but she wasn't sure if that was the normal amount. She tried not to look at She-Ra, she unnerved her. She wanted to shut it off, get Adora back. It had been easier to hurt her when she didn't look like Adora. 

"I mean, some things are better. A lot of things are worse," Adora admitted. 

"Like?" Catra feigned interest, flicking her tail. She put her ears forward though. 

"Well," Adora started, getting up and walking towards Catra, " _You're_ not here. Makes it hard to sleep." 

"You could probably get Sparkles to sleep with you," Catra growled. 

"I tried to sleep at the end of her bed and she freaked out. Besides, it wasn't the same," Adora looked down, rubbing her arms. "Don't you miss sleeping with me?" 

"Psh, I don't miss you," Catra weakly replied. Adora was very close to her but Catra wanted her closer. She wanted Adora to hold her again, run her fingers through her hair. 

"You look _tired_ Catra," Adora stated, cautiously running a hand through Catra's hair. Catra couldn't deny it. She had hardly slept in the past few weeks. Her sleep was interrupted and she worked harder than she ever had in her life. She also cried more. It made her eyes puffy and she couldn't hide the bags under her eyes. "You could stay the night, you know. As long as you leave in the morning before you have to do drills." 

"This doesn't mean I'm joining the Rebellion," Catra muttered. 

"I mean, I didn't say anything," Adora giggled. She took Catra's hand and pulled her towards the bed. It was music to her ears, the lightness of it. Catra had been missing it for weeks. She sat down next to Adora as Adora started pulling her boots off, throwing them under the bed. She left Catra at the bed and went to a dresser, pulling clothes out before slipping her own off. Catra tried to avert her gaze but it was impossible. Adora looked just as she remembered, toned but not too muscular. Her arms were to die for, Catra couldn't help but stare a little longer. Adora pulled on the new clothes and turned with a small smile.

"We, uh, get different clothes to sleep in. Glimmer explained it to me." That _annoyed_ Catra. Catra couldn't quite pinpoint it, but she didn't want Glimmer in _Adora's_ room. It didn't make any sense, they had shared a barrack with many other children. But she had always dreamed of sharing a room with Adora, just her and Adora. 

"Why the hell do you need those? Just makes more steps for later." 

"That's what I said, but she says they're customary? I'm just tired of looking stupid, they act like I don't know anything. I thought the waterfall was for showering and they all _laughed_ at me," Adora admitted.

"Well, why the fuck would you have one in your room to not shower with? Does the Rebellion just _love_ to _waste_ their water?" Catra cackled, falling back onto the bed. 

"That's what I said! I have a whole separate room in my room just for showering, it's insane! And horribly inefficient," Adora muttered, sitting on the bed. 

"You sure you want to stay here? Shadow Weaver would love to have you back," Catra rolled her eyes, pushing away the thoughts of how much she wanted Adora to come home. Adora didn't seem like she was doing well here, it was worrying Catra. 

"I told you Catra, I can't go back. The Horde-"

"Yeah, yeah. Horde evil, Rebellion good. I didn't come here to get the same speech," Catra retorted. This bed felt like the one they shared in the Frightzone and it was making Catra sleepy. She curled up at the bottom of the bed, reminding herself she would have to get up in a few hours. If she was late she could make an excuse. Shadow Weaver didn't expect much of her, Catra was typically late. 

"You could always stay," Adora offered again, putting out the light. She pulled the covers over herself, eyeing Catra carefully. 

"Stop making me repeat myself, Adora," Catra kneaded the blanket underneath her softly, getting more comfortable. She hadn't come all this way to argue. She wanted Adora to drop it. They laid in silence for several minutes. Catra's body was conflicted; she felt calmer because Adora was there. The bed was the right temperature, Adora's breathing was steady and dependable as always. But her body kept reminding her that she didn't belong here, that she never would. That she could get caught by some guards that didn't know about her deal with the Princess could burst in and ruin everything. It made it difficult to even think about sleeping. 

"Hey, umm, Catra?" Adora breathed.

"Yeah?" Catra's ears perked up and she looked up at Adora.

"Can you come sleep next to me? This bed is bigger than our old one. I've just been having a harder time lately," Adora conceded. Catra raised her eyebrows. They had only slept that way when they were children because they could both fit back then. Catra crawled up next to her. "And can you go under the covers too?" Adora looked away sheepishly, but Catra complied. 

"Don't get used to this, Princess," Catra grumbled. She hoped the darkness hid her grin, though she could see all of Adora. She knew her vision was different to a certain extent. She couldn't be happier to be next to Adora as Adora snaked one arm around her waist and the other through her hair. Catra pulled Adora's hair out of its ponytail, fiddling with it around her fingers. She rested her head on Adora's shoulder, intertwining her legs around Adora's. She didn't want to leave; if she died in her sleep it would be perfect. She took in a deep breath of Adora's smell, trying to memorize it for when she had to sleep in her own bed again. Their blanket had faded so much she could barely smell Adora anymore. 

"The hardest part about trying to sleep in this room is that you aren't there. It doesn't smell like you, I can't hear you breathing, you don't kick me every so often," Adora sounded sad, yawning into Catra's hair, "I tried to use my shirt from the Horde as a pillowcase but it stopped smelling like you so fast." Adora ran the hand that had been in Catra's hair down her back, fingertips so gentle Catra couldn't help but lean into them. 

"That's the hardest part for me too," Catra admitted. She could feel herself fading away, keeping her eyes open becoming a chore. She felt Adora nestle into her hair. 

"Goodnight, Catra." She wanted to reply but she slid into sleep with an ease she hadn't known in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed some fluffy Catradora. I figured that their relationship isn't too degraded in the fourth episode so something like this could happen. Adora is really forgiving. My poor babies need some sleep! And communication skills, but hey, one thing at a time! Please comment, it brightens my day!


	5. Didn't Think You'd Get All Sentimental

"Where have you been?" Shadow Weaver bellowed. She stood over her cauldron, not turning to face Catra. Had Shadow Weaver called her here just to yell at her? Shadow Weaver had never cared that she wasn't in her bed before unless she was in a sadistic mood. Which was entirely possible, Catra thought. Her failure to retrieve Adora at Salineas had earned her a new scar on her thigh. It didn't matter because she had dozens that matched.

"The Frightzone," Catra gave a disinterested reply. This kind of interrogation was routine by now. Shadow Weaver would be mad about something out of Catra's control, notice Catra wasn't behaving the way she wanted, and then she would punish Catra. Rinse and repeat. Only now Catra didn't have to hide injuries from Adora. She didn't need two people to lecture her.

"That is _not_ what I meant, do not be _cheeky_ with me Force Captain. You did not oversee the squadron you are in charge of this morning, nor did you report for meals. I had to launch a search party to find you, you _will_ answer me," Shadow Weaver turned, looming over her. Catra doubted she had multiple people look for her. She had probably just sent Lonnie or Scorpia. Shadow Weaver did have a flair for the dramatic, Catra would give her that.

"I'm not feeling well," Catra looked away from her. She had done this before but Shadow Weaver never seemed to understand what she meant. Maybe she wanted to humiliate her further, but at least Catra could always use it as a last resort.

"Then you should have been in the medical bay," Shadow Weaver seethed, the darkness growing around her. This was Catra's _favorite_ part, the part right before Shadow Weaver recoiled in disgust. She savored every time it happened.

"I'm in heat," Catra emphasized the last bit as Shadow Weaver reeled backward. "You know how I get, I'm not hungry, I like to stay away from other soldiers, _the yowling_ -"

" _Do not speak to me about your_ **_filthy_ ** _race_ , I am well aware," Shadow Weaver barked, "I want you to guard this room. I am going after Adora myself with my shadow spies. You will make sure that I am not disturbed and you will keep your _disgusting_ noises to a minimum. Have I made myself clear?" 

"Crystal clear," Catra ground out. Gods, this woman was an idiot. She thought she was brilliant but she couldn't even tell that Catra was lying. There were obvious signs when she was going through that awfulness and they weren't present. Catra had to hide up for up to two weeks at a time. The only thing that kept her out of Shadow Weaver's fire was that she found Catra's bodily functions repulsive. So Catra stood outside the door, hoping to hear something useful for the Rebellion. 

* * *

Catra sat at the ledge, uploading what little she could. She wanted to warn the Rebels that Shadow Weaver was trying to bring Adora back to the Frightzone, but they were away and had been for the past several weeks. Glimmer had said they were going to Dryl, then Mystacor. Catra wasn't sure when they would return but she knew that they had thwarted Shadow Weaver because she found her passed out on the floor. She had searched around the room before leaving but hadn't found anything useful. 

As she waited for the items to upload she could feel something changing. She cursed herself for lying, it was some kind of karma that her heat was starting up again. Hopefully, it could be an extra-long one and she could get away from Shadow Weaver and have some peace for once. Not that it would be peaceful or comfortable in the vents but it was still better than being at Shadow Weaver's beck and call. Shadow Weaver had been singularly focused on Adora and she was convinced Catra was the key to her coming back home. Catra wasn't enough for Adora, that woman miscalculated time and time again. 

Catra was brought back to reality because the trackerpad started vibrating. It was unusual for them to call her first, but she wouldn't complain if they were back earlier than expected. She wanted to hear about how Adora had dealt with Shadow Weaver. Catra would have paid for a premium seat to that. Instead, she had to hear Shadow Weaver imitating her. It had unnerved her; she hoped Adora would know it wasn't her, that it didn't sound like her. An unfamiliar face greeted her between Bow and Glimmer. A winged woman with sparkling hair and aggressively proper posture was sitting on a throne, assessing her carefully. She looked vaguely like some of those Princess posters they had in the training rooms.

"Catra," she nodded. Glimmer eyed her nervously. Bow had a shy smile on his face.

"Queen Angella, I presume." Catra couldn't imagine there were a large number of women who looked like Glimmer and sat on a throne in Brightmoon. 

"Pleasure to meet your acquaintance at last," Angella gave a slight, weary smile, "As Queen of Brightmoon and leader of the Rebellion, I thought it was time to _personally_ thank you for your service."

"Yeah, you're welcome." _I'm not doing it for you_ , Catra thought. It was nice to be recognized, but if the Queen thought she was doing it for the Rebellion she was a fool. And Catra had no interest in working with fools. Bow and Glimmer were naive enough as it was. If the Queen was just like them it was no wonder why the Rebellion was losing. 

"Let us cut to the chase, shall we? The intel you gave when you were in Salineas was crucial. We were able to stop all of the sieges but one. We hope you will continue to bring us such information in the future." 

"Glad it was helpful. _Shame_ I can't do more," Catra tilted her head sarcastically. They were well aware she was giving as much as she could. Shadow Weaver didn't trust her and with good reason. She wouldn't be able to build a bridge with that woman. Hordak on the other hand? That _might_ be possible but it would take time. They were expecting miracles to happen in a very short amount of time.

"I am well aware of your constraints, Catra. You have done well considering," Angella sighed, "I will be frank with you Catra, I do not trust you." Finally, something was getting interesting. A player that was worthy of her talents had emerged. This woman was smarter than she thought she would be. Most of the Rebellion thus far seemed to be simpering idiots. 

"Mom!" Glimmer cried, slamming her hands down on the table. Bow covered his face. 

"Fair enough, your majesty. I don't trust you either," Catra cackled. 

"You have proved useful," Angella conceded. In her tone, there was a veiled threat. A threat that implied she should remain useful if she knew what was good for her.

"Aw, shucks, your majesty. Didn't think you'd get so sentimental," Catra laughed, "As long as you have something I want, you have _nothing_ to fear." 

"And when the Crimson Waste no longer remains enough, what will you try and barter for? Brightmoon? Or perhaps you will conquer the Horde," Angella's tone was even but her face was angry. Catra figured the Queen wouldn't be happy with the new deal. No one in their right mind would give such a large territory to someone who hadn't proved their loyalty. Angella was caught because her daughter had promised. And these precious rebels wouldn't go back on their word, even when they should. 

" _With all due respect_ ," Catra's tone implied that there wasn't much respect to be had, "The land and titles aren't really what concerns me. You have something I want and I _will_ play along. As long as nothing happens to it, of course." Catra could convey her own threats, shooting a dangerous glare towards Glimmer. The girl froze in her chair.

"If it is not lands or titles then what could we possibly have that you want?" Angella looked into her eyes, trying to discern what it was. Catra wanted the money, the lands, the title. But only because she wanted to keep Adora. Adora seemed so enthralled with all the castles, the Princesses, the magic. Catra could recreate that for her. Catra would carve out Etheria if it would make her happy.

"Don't get me wrong, I still _expect_ all those things. You promised after all, and what kind of benevolent leaders would you be if you went back on your word? Even if it was just your daughters," Catra smirked. 

"It is in writing, I will have you sign it when you return to the castle. The other rebel leaders have all signed it as of last week," Angella stated. Glimmer and Bow looked at each other in confusion. Catra couldn't help but let her smirk grow wider. Angella had _known_ she was in her castle. Bringing it up in a meeting was quite the power move. It almost made Catra respect her. Almost.

"Of course, no rush your Highness," Catra made a noncommittal gesture but she told herself she would have to get back to Brightmoon quickly. She wasn't going to let Angella outmaneuver her. 

"Bow, Glimmer. I believe it's your bedtime. I would like to speak with Catra _alone_ ," Angella looked at both of them and waited. They reluctantly stood. Catra was grateful they were on her side, even if it was a foolhardy display. Catra could tell who was in charge, who had all the power.

"Bye Catra, we'll talk later," Glimmer's tone was insistent. 

"Bye Princess. Say hi to Adora for me," Catra winked. Angella waited patiently for them to get out of the room, then waited a few moments longer. She was listening for footsteps to make sure they were gone. Angella's steely gaze returned to Catra. Catra was sure it would be more impressive in person, but miles away it lost its effect. Catra had seen worse every day of her life. If this woman thought she was scary, she should see the monsters lurking inside the Frightzone.

"Let's cut the games, Catra. I'm sure you can easily talk your way around my daughter, that much is obvious from your ability to get the Crimson Waste. Such manipulation isn't appreciated." 

"You should have raised her better if you wanted her to be less gullible," Catra retorted.

"What is it you want?" Angella's eyes were unwavering.

"Don't worry, your majesty. What I want isn't something you can give me. The lands, titles, money; I'm going to share them, but they aren't my main objective. What I want is very attached to the Rebellion and isn't going anywhere. Though if you weren't suspicious of me I'd think you were an idiot." 

"You want Adora." Angella stared at her, cold eyes softened. 

"As long as you keep her safe and cared for, I won't have a reason to betray you. I, on the other hand, don't have such assurances about you. You could turn me in whenever you wanted, throw me in a dungeon when the war is over. You wouldn't have to give me my rightful due that way.” It’s what Catra would do. It wasn’t fair, but life wasn’t fair.

"As you stated before, Catra, I am not an imbecile. Turning on you would accomplish nothing but lose me the only source of information on the Horde the Rebellion has. We need you. You're sharp, I'm sure you're well aware it would be difficult to find another spy, especially one raised by Shadow Weaver. The last spy we had was executed for treason," Angella sighed, leaning her face onto her hands, "How do I know that Adora is enough to keep you from betraying us?" 

"You don't. It would be suicidal to completely trust me. I've fed you some intel that only put me in moderate peril. I could have claimed ignorance if they found the trackerpad, claimed someone was using my name because it comforted Adora and put her at ease. I could just infiltrate your palace and slit your throat and Hordak would reward me heavily. I was raised in the Frightzone and for all you know I could have loyalty to them. You don't have to believe anything else I say, but believe this: Adora is more than enough for me. I would never do anything to put her in jeopardy, I would never betray her. I might not care about the rest of your Rebellion, your reasons or your tactics, but I would die for her." 

" _You love her_." It wasn't a question. Catra nodded, looking away from the Queen. She had never admitted it to anyone. She wasn't sure if she was playing her cards right, but Angella had to trust her, even if it was in the smallest amount. This partnership wouldn't work otherwise. 

"Catra, I do have _some_ trust for you. I don't believe now that I've seen you, that you were born in the Frightzone. You do have loyalties elsewhere, whether you want to admit it or not." 

"I could pretend I'm not interested in learning where I came from, but that would be a waste of both of our time and intelligence don't you think?" Catra smiled. 

"Then I am glad we are no longer playing charades. I think we can both agree I am short on time." Catra couldn't help but agree. The days felt shorter the longer she kept this up. 

"As am I. Anything you can tell me about my people? I've never seen another Magicat." 

"I cannot say I'm surprised. After the battle my husband was killed in they retreated underground. Their Queen, C'yra, was killed during that battle. Her child was presumed dead, as was her wife. The Horde caused many casualties in that battle. The Magicats had tried to warn everyone when the Horde landed, but we were fools not to listen. We have heard nothing from them since. With no leaders, they have decided to stay neutral in the war." 

"What were they like? Did they look like me?" Catra couldn't hide her curiosity. When she wasn't thinking about Adora she was thinking about her family. 

"I knew one who looked _extraordinarily_ like you. I was not close with her, but there was one I was very close to within the royal family. They are primarily nocturnal, hunters by trade. But they also made the most beautiful paintings, jewelry. I have not seen their rival since. They were a very skilled, very proud people." Angella's tone had sorrow in her voice. She clearly regretted not doing more to keep them in the alliance. Catra wanted to tell her she should have done more, should have listened to them. But she knew it wouldn't bring back the dead, wouldn't make the sting go away. 

"Do you plan to ask them to join the Rebellion?" Catra raised her brow. 

"If they are in a position to accept then I would like that one day. I do not think they have anyone who leads them now, from the intel I have. Queen A'llarya's sister is the one who keeps them from shambles but she is royal by marriage, not blood. I don't know how well that tie will last if put under pressure from the war. I cannot give you Halfmoon if that is what you're asking." 

"Don't worry, I'm content with the Crimson Waste. Just curious if anyone related to me is alive."

"I cannot promise that any are, Catra. Back then Hordak was intent on wiping out whole families that opposed him. The Magicats were the most violent, most emphatic members of the Rebellion and the Princess Alliance. It is possible that you are the last of your family," Angella admitted sadly. Catra thought with her luck that was most likely true. 

"I don't need your promises as long as you keep the ones you've already made." 

"I will take care of Adora. Glimmer and Bow dote on her, no doubt because of how protective you are of her. Nothing will happen to her, no matter what you do or don't do. She is a member of this Rebellion and we care for our own." 

"That's all I ask your majesty." Catra knew it was almost time for her to leave. She knew it would be okay if she wasn't in her bed tonight because of her lie, but she was truthfully tired. She could feel her heat coming on and she wished Adora was still there. Adora always rubbed behind her ear, comforting her. She would bring her heating pads to the vents, would sit next to them and talk to her through the night on bad ones. Since they were teens Adora had helped her through them. Now she would have no one but herself. She prayed this one didn't last two weeks. 

"Have a good night. Though, with how Glimmer is always running around disobeying orders, I don't think you've had a good night sleep in a while," Catra cackled. 

"You are more perceptive than my daughter gave you credit for. I pray you have a good night as well. And Catra-" she caught Catra before she could turn the screen off, "Next time you come to Brightmoon, you don't need to sneak through the window. One of the back or side doors is just fine. All the guards have been shown your picture so that you will not have any incidents during your stay."

"I appreciate it, that will make my life much easier," Catra replied, though she would probably still sneak through the window. She liked to keep Adora on her toes. Any surprised reaction she could get from Adora would make her day. Catra shut off the screen. She stared out into the Frighzone, the red lights shining for miles. She planned her next trip to Brightmoon before slinking into the vents, finding one of her hiding places and curling up. It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I really wanted Catra to get on Shadow Weaver's nerves. I also wanted to think about the physical differences between Magicats and humans, but not in an overly sexual way you know? I was also super excited to see Catra interact with Angella, I feel like she wants to only deal with Angella from now on. 
> 
> Next chapter is more Catradora! Catra is going to pay Adora another visit before Princess Prom. Your comments have been so nice, I've been loving them!


	6. Making Things More Complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: disassociation, light self-harm (scratching, very brief)

“You came back,” Adora whispered. Adora stood from the bed, staring at Catra who was leaning on the entryway to the balcony. Catra had her arms crossed over her chest, keeping the smirk on her face. She didn’t want to give in to the hope that filled Adora’s eyes threatening to spill over. Adora was so beautiful; Catra felt the breath sucked out of her lungs whenever she saw her, but Adora with her hair down was a special sight just for Catra. At least, that's what Catra always hoped. 

" _Hey, Adora_." It was all she could get out, the air siphoned out of her. She wasn't a worthy viewer for the sight before her but no one was. Temples should be erected for _Adora_ , not She-Ra. 

"I didn't think you would come back," Adora's voice was a ghost, so soft and fleeting Catra wasn't sure if it had been there. _I will always come back to you. I could be dead and your voice would summon me from my grave._ Catra could never say what she thought to Adora. Even when they were in the Horde she couldn't. Adora acted as if everything had changed but nothing had changed for Catra. Catra still couldn't be herself, truly herself around Adora. Not around anyone. The closest she got to being herself was when she verbally sparred with Angella or Shadow Weaver.

"Well you've never had much faith in me," Catra retorted.

"That's not true Catra," Adora shook her head. She didn't move towards Catra, which was unusual. 

"Psh, sure Princess." Catra didn't like how Adora was acting. She hadn't come all this way for Adora _not_ to touch her. If it was up to her they would skip this whole charade and go straight to cuddling in bed. Catra desperately wanted to sleep, but she was determined to feel Adora's hair, to feel Adora's hands on her skin and around her waist again. She wanted to smell her hair, remember every breath that escaped Adora's lips in the night, her sweet sighs music to her ears.

"I'm _serious_ Catra. I've been thinking _a lot_ about Shadow Weaver and how she treated you," Catra felt a lump in her throat as Adora continued, "She always belittled you, told you that you were worthless. And I realized I made you feel that way too, huh? I wanted to say sorry, sorry for letting her get into my head as a kid. I'm sorry I didn't argue with her." Catra wanted to say something, _anything_. She wanted to blow it off with sarcasm, pretend none of it had cut her to the core. Catra felt that all too familiar feeling creeping up inside her, her vision blurring, her emotions trying to hide themselves away. Catra felt disconnected from Adora, the room, herself. She could feel the shadows around her, the sparks of pain. She could hear Shadow Weaver calling her worthless over and over. She couldn't move but she could feel the fear rising, her mind trying desperately to take her further from Adora. 

"Catra?" Adora's face shifted from guilt to panic when she finally looked at Catra. Catra felt stiff as a board and Adora's voice sounded so far away. Catra reached for the back of her hand and started lightly scratching it, trying to feel something, prepared to dig harder if she didn't come back to reality soon. Adora grabbed her hands and pulled them into her own, rubbing the backs of them with her thumbs. "Catra, I'm here. It's okay, I'm right here." Adora tugged Catra to the bed and sat her down next to her, not letting go of her hands. They sat together for what felt like forever, Adora rubbing her hands and arms, whispering sweet nothings. Catra was shaking but she could barely feel the panic as her feelings tried to push themselves into the furthest part of her. 

After an eternity Catra felt herself slowly coming back. It had been a week or so since she had an episode that bad. Catra knew she should be used to them; in the Frightzone she would retreat into the barracks or she would just not talk until she felt more herself. She had always dealt with them on her own but she couldn't deny it felt nice to be comforted. She had been careful to not let Adora see her like this. Adora had quoted Shadow Weaver constantly: displays of weakness were discouraged. If you had to go to the medical bay you shouldn't tell a soul other than your commanding officer. And if you were Catra, you should not tell them either because Shadow Weaver would make it ten times worse. Shadow Weaver liked to be the one to send her to the medical bay. 

"Catra, are you okay?" Adora whispered, caressing Catra's face with one hand. 

"I'm fine," Catra dismissed her, batting her hand away. 

"You are _not_ fine! You spaced out and you were hurting yourself-" 

"Can't you just leave it, Adora?" Catra pushed her away, standing up. This was a _mistake_ , Catra shouldn't have come back. She should have been satisfied with the last time. She should have waited to see Adora again, she should have controlled herself better. Why couldn't she control herself?

"No, I can't just leave it! Catra we _need_ to talk about this! Why won't you let me help you?" Adora stood, arms flying like they always did when she was frustrated. 

"You can't help me! Do you think you can save me from _this_ , _from my brain_? You can't, Adora. You swing your sword around trying to save everyone but _you can't_! You couldn't save me then and you can't save me now!" 

"I don't want to _save_ you, I just want to _help_ you! I want to help you get through whatever that was because I think I've been through it too! Why is it so hard for you to accept that I care about you?" Adora was shouting now. Catra rushed Adora until Adora's back hit the wall, one hand pressing against the wall next to her. She cupped her other hand over Adora's mouth. 

"Do you _want_ me to spend the rest of my life in the dungeon here?" Catra hissed. She knew that they wouldn't do anything to her, but Adora didn't know that. Adora's eyes widened in realization and she shook her head. Catra carefully lowered her hand but did not back away. 

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. But you should let me help you Catra. Does this happen a lot?" Adora was whispering. Catra could feel her skin burning from how close they were. Adora's face was flushing, her breathing was erratic. It made Catra think things she shouldn't, like how Adora would taste or what sounds she would make if she got even closer. It would never happen, Adora would never look at her with stars in her eyes. 

"Yeah," Catra admitted. Adora's hand snaked its way back to cup her face, lightly rubbing the fur. 

"I'm sorry Catra. I wish I could make it stop," Adora breathed. Catra didn't want to talk about her feelings- or lack thereof. She wanted this to stop. A devilish idea came to mind; the easiest way to get Adora off a topic would be to fluster her. She leaned in closer, foreheads almost touching. She used her free hand to grab Adora's chin, forcing her to look into her eyes. 

"I wonder what your little rebel friends would think if they saw you _now_ ," Catra let out a low chuckle, leaning slightly closer. Adora's breath hitched, her cheeks burning brighter. This was almost too easy. Adora had been easily distracted by Catra since the day they met. "Pushed against the wall by your greatest enemy. And you aren't pushing away, how _scandalous_." 

"You're not my greatest enemy," Adora mumbled, averting her gaze. 

"I'm not? Oh, Adora, you _wound_ me. Is there someone else in your life that you let crawl into your bedroom and threaten you at night?" Catra teased. Catra trailed her tail up Adora's leg, relishing the shudder that followed. It made Catra think wicked things that she saved for when she was alone. 

"Ha-ha, very funny. You're not my enemy Catra," Adora rolled her eyes.

"You sure about that Adora?" Catra trailed a claw down Adora's cheek. 

"Very sure," Adora whispered. Adora surged forward, lips on Catra's cautiously, her hand snaking through Catra's hair to the base of her neck. Catra could feel her head swirling, her heart racing. She had dreamed of this every day since she could remember but she had never thought _Adora_ would start it. It was warm and chaste but Catra finally understood what the senior cadets had meant when they told her she would feel butterflies. She wanted _more_ , so much more. She pushed herself up against Adora, struggling to keep control of herself, forcing her claws back in. Everything was happening so fast but Catra would be damned if she missed this opportunity. Adora let out a groan against her, tilting her head slightly. 

Catra's ears flew forward and she begrudgingly pulled away, blood boiling under her skin as she saw the disappointment in Adora's eyes. She ran behind the pillar on the balcony and caught her breath. The knock on the door was a convenient excuse but she was going to kill whoever it was for their shit timing. 

"Adora? Everything okay in there?" It was Glimmer. Catra wanted to scratch the girl's eyes out. 

"Yep, everything is just perfect. I was just getting ready for bed," Adora's nerves were evident, her words speeding up as she fumbled with them. 

"Are you sure? I thought I heard shouting." 

"I was just yelling at... my sword! It still doesn't always do what I want it to, I'm just getting frustrated." Catra could barely suppress a chuckle as Adora grasped at any excuse. Catra wondered if Glimmer knew she was in there. She wondered how much of their fight she had heard. 

"Just try to get some sleep? We can try to figure it out together in the morning," Glimmer yawned.

"Sure thing, sounds great!" Adora's voice was cracking. 

"Are you _sure_ you don't need anything?" Glimmer sounded skeptical through the door. 

"No thanks, I'm fine! I just need to sleep just like you said!" 

"Okay, goodnight Adora." 

"Night!" Adora let out a relieved sigh as the sound of teleporting happened. Catra came out from her hiding spot, letting out a cackle when she saw Adora. Adora was still standing against the wall, clutching her chest. Her hair was a mess, her shirt had claw marks in it. 

"That was a close call, huh _Princess_?" Catra teased. Adora's breath was still uneven and she stared at Catra's lips again with a longing that made Catra's knees weak. 

"What are we doing Catra?" _Making things more complicated_ , Catra thought. 

"Stress relief. Come on, Adora, I didn't think you were _that_ dense. Older cadets used to do it all the time," Catra scoffed. _And much more_ , Catra thought. The number of times she had caught teenagers with their hands in each other's pants was far too great. She wondered how Adora had avoided it, but Shadow Weaver kept her on a tight leash. Catra remembered the first time she had seen it and all she could think about was doing it with Adora. She had avoided her for the entire day because she was worried Adora would somehow know what she was thinking. 

"So this is just a _game_ to you?" Adora's tone was accusatory, her arms crossing in front of her chest. Catra's heart dropped and she felt her smirk slip away. This wasn't what she had wanted at all. She had wanted this moment to be special forever. She walked back to Adora, taking her hands in her own. 

"No, I liked it, dummy," Catra couldn't look into her eyes, couldn't be completely vulnerable. But she couldn't handle Adora's crestfallen look, couldn't let her think that she was just toying with her.

"Yeah?" Adora smirked. Catra rolled her eyes, but she would give Adora one time to be cocky. 

"Yeah, now stop making a big deal out of it." Adora reached back up and pressed a light kiss on Catra's lips. Catra felt her tail poof and her nerves skyrocket. She pulled away flustered, Adora smiling from ear to ear, her face colored considerably. Catra hoped she was the only person who would ever see Adora like this. She prayed to whatever gods there were, if there were any, that not another soul would know Adora this way. 

"Never," Adora giggled. It was such a beautiful melody, Catra wanted to abandon the Horde and never look back. She wanted to spend the rest of her life in this room with Adora giggling and red. She wanted Adora to lightly pepper kisses on her face, run her hands through her hair, lounge in the sun when it came up. Waltz together in the moonlight when it was there, listen to Adora's voice as she read to her. She could envision herself living there until old age and never wanting for anything. 

"Ugh, you're _such_ a dork. Can we go to bed now? I walked a stupid distance to get here," Catra whined, pulling away from Adora. 

"You could have just slept in the Frightzone," Adora teased, walking over to the dresser to change. Catra flopped onto the bed, glaring at Adora. Adora knew perfectly well why she couldn't sleep. 

"Says the traitor who made it nearly impossible for me to sleep," Catra spat. She hadn't meant for it to come out so angry but she was annoyed. 

"I was just teasing, Catra," Adora's tone of voice was warning Catra to watch it as she pulled the new shirt over her head, "I can't sleep without you either. It's all nightmares when you're not here." Catra was grateful that Adora admitted it was difficult for her as well. Her dreams were haunted with the images of Glimmer and Adora sleeping in the same bed, touching each other in ways that they shouldn't. In ways that Adora should touch Catra. Catra would wake up covered in sweat and filled with anger. She would run her drills twice as hard. Shadow Weaver was getting mad about all the punching bags with Princess faces that Catra had shredded. 

"Whatever," Catra grumbled, getting under the covers. She didn't want Adora to ask her to sleep next to her again, she just wanted to start cuddling until she fell asleep. She felt bone tired. When she finally slept in the Frightzone she felt it lasted less than a minute before Lonnie was yelling at her to get up. The only place she got good sleep was in Brightmoon of all places. Adora turned the light off and scooted in next to her, pulling the blanket over herself. 

"You can just say you miss me you know," Adora smiled, already getting into position. Arm around Catra's waist, she ran the other through Catra's hair before placing a hesitant kiss on Catra's cheek. Catra didn't think she would ever get used to this new display of affection. That didn't mean she didn't love it. She bashfully untied Adora's hair, running it through her fingers. She forced herself to sheath her claws again. They ached from being out all the time but she rarely felt safe now that Adora wasn't home with her. 

"Your hair smells different," Catra commented, ignoring Adora's attempt to get her to admit how much she missed her. It wasn't going to happen again tonight.

"Oh, Bow made me start using this thing called conditioner. It smells really good I thought," Adora muttered bashfully, pulling Catra closer to her. 

"It does. Different doesn't mean bad," Catra muttered. Everything was changing, even if Catra hated it. Even the way Adora smelled was slightly changing. Catra wanted everything to stay the same. But she had never wanted to freeze a moment more than this one. 

"I could try a different one. If you don't like this one I mean," Adora stammered. 

"It's fine," Catra chuckled, nuzzling her head onto Adora's, taking in the light fruity scent. She gave a light kiss to Adora's forehead and Adora went stiff before relaxing. Catra lightly kneaded her toes against Adora's leg, Adora taking a sharp inhale before letting out a contented sigh. 

"Do you have to go first thing in the morning?" Adora complained. She clung more tightly onto Catra. I could stay here forever, Catra wanted to say. Just say you love me back and I could stay. 

"I'm a Force Captain now, I have a squadron to take care of," Catra sighed. She ran her hand down Adora's back, tracing small patterns into it. 

"I know..." Adora whined. She scooted down and rested her head on Catra's chest, wiggling until she was more comfortable. "But it would be nice if you could stay. We could have breakfast on the balcony, lay in bed all day. We could practice kissing some more-"

"Adora, I am shocked! When did you become such a pervert?" Catra cackled. 

"The moment I came to Brightmoon," Adora laughed, holding on tighter. Catra couldn't lie the thought was tempting. The most she would get back home was a ration bar. And someone was sure to tell her off first thing in the morning. "You could take up a hobby? That's a thing here, finding something to do with free time. Can you even imagine any free time in the Frightzone? Shadow Weaver would have killed all of us. You can just read all day here and no one gets angry. One day Glimmer did nothing at all and I thought Angella would scream at her for sure but she didn't. She called it a "self-care day"." 

"Sounds too lax," Catra yawned. She thought it sounded nice, being allowed to do whatever you wanted. She wondered what she would do first when she finally moved here. The answer was kissing Adora, but she wondered what she would do second. She imagined all the things they would do as she started to fall asleep. 

"I thought so too. It grows on you," Adora whispered, drifting off. Catra kissed her forehead one final time before giving in to sleep she so desperately needed and dreamed of Adora reading to her on the balcony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to Lover by Taylor Swift for the whole second half of this chapter. I think the big difference between my Catra and canon Catra is that my Catra knows she's in love with Adora, she is much more self-aware on that front lol. I hope you enjoyed, I loved writing it! Get ready for a very steamy Princess Prom next chapter. Leave a comment, it keeps me going!


	7. Princess Prom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut this chapter, I'm making it skippable! Please enjoy!

Catra had never seen anything like the Kingdom of Snows. It was much bigger than Brightmoon, the castle was imposing, it would even tower over the Frightzone. Catra didn't realize until she got up north that she didn't know what snow was. It was crisp and cold but it was perfect on her fur. She wondered if she could ask to move up here when all was said and done. Was it always this cold? Was it always this beautiful? Catra couldn't help but imagine Adora cuddling up next to her for warmth at night. Catra wouldn't complain if it was freezing as long as Adora was with her. She would much prefer to be cold than to be boiling in the desert of the Crimson Waste, though she would adjust all the same. 

The castle itself seemed to be made of ice but it wasn't cold inside. There were Princesses with far less clothing than they had in the warmer lands like Plumeria. Catra couldn't help but be curious about it all. Was it magic that kept it from being cold or was it just a material that looked like ice? Then again, the Frightzone kept things warm without magic. If Catra wasn't here on business she would have asked the hostess. She shook her head; she couldn't become enthralled with the magic and Princesses. Not when she had a job to do. 

Scorpia had gotten her in. It was a miracle there was a Princess in the Frightzone, otherwise, she would have been forced to ask Angella for an invitation. And that wouldn't be conducive to Catra's plan. The less the royals knew the better, at least for now. Not to mention there wouldn't be a plausible explanation to give Adora as to how she had gotten into such an exclusive event, nor an easy explanation for anyone who didn't know about her role in the Rebellion. So she arrived with Scorpia, fashionably late. She wanted to draw attention, she needed Adora to see her. It was all part of the plan but she had to get rid of Scorpia first. Scorpia might have gotten her in but Catra still didn't trust her. Scorpia was important to several parts of the plan but she didn't want her to get in her way. Scorpia thankfully seemed thrilled to take whatever orders Catra gave, following them as precisely as she could. Catra almost felt bad using her. She would have felt worse if Scorpia could actually take a hint and realize she was _never_ going to be interested in her.

Catra would love to enjoy her night and take in the sights, but it was particularly difficult to do from her vantage point. After losing Adora (who had been aggressively tailing her) she had snuck under the table with the snacks. Though Scorpia was there at the other end, that wasn't who she was there for. She waited until the cotton candy Princess herself was right in front of her, trailing her tail up the Princess' leg. The Princess stilled, looking down slowly. At least she was trying to be less obvious, Catra thought. She grinned up at Glimmer. 

"Catra, what are you doing here? You're supposed to tell us where you're going to be! How did you even get in here?" Glimmer hissed. 

"I thought I made it _pretty obvious_ when we were addressing the itty-bitty snow Princess. I'm Scorpia's plus one, making it easier to get in here. It would have been too suspicious if I showed up without her. And in case you forgot, I'm supposed to be _stealthy_. I can't always tell you where I'm going to be," Catra whispered. 

"You better have something good, my mom isn't going to be happy about this," Glimmer sniffled.

"Don't worry Princess, I got the goods," Catra reassured her, though if all went according to plan she would have so much more than just a little data, "Something _bothering_ you Twinkle?" 

"It's nothing," Glimmer wiped her eyes.

"Let's see, puffy eyes, no bow and arrow boy. Did he come with _someone else_?" Catra feigned shock before breaking out into a chuckle. Catra didn't care about the Princess' petty problems. Though her sadness did tug ever so slightly at something inside her, something that she would ignore.

"That's none of your business," Glimmer spat. 

"Aw, looks like I hit the nail on the head. Maybe this will make you feel better Sprinkles. Drop something and pick it back up," Catra commanded. Glimmer dropped one of her gloves skillfully, bending over to retrieve it. Catra slid the drive right under it as it fell. 

"This better be worth you ruining my night," Glimmer muttered.

"I thought you would want to know about some planned sieges but I guess I was _wrong_. It was _silly_ of me to warn you about Shadow Weaver's plans to attack _innocent_ people-" 

"I get it, you're a snarky asshole. But we appreciate the information anyways, thank you Catra."

"My pleasure Princess. If you'll excuse me, I have a date with an angry blonde." 

"Wait, Catra," Catra paused and listened, "You have to be _discreet_. You're a little too obvious when it comes to Adora. The whole castle heard your fight a couple weeks ago. Don't draw attention to yourself. We don't know if Scorpia is watching you." 

"Seems like Scorpia is listening to her stomach rather than watching me, but point taken. I'll be more cautious, you won't see me." _But Adora will_ , Catra thought. Catra snuck out from underneath the table and saw the next target that would allow her to mess with Adora; a purple-haired Princess high up on the balcony. 

* * *

  
  


"Finally gave up on running huh?" Adora attempted to sound cocky, but she was so out of breath it was laughable. Catra was leaning against a pillar far away from all party guests in a secluded part of the castle, in a hallway not too far from the ballroom. Adora was just where Catra wanted her, isolated from her friends. Catra always wanted Adora to be alone with her, she was never good at sharing. Though Adora hadn't been great at it either. 

"Eh, just got boring. I see being with the Princesses has made you out of shape. You're slower than ever," Catra cackled. 

"I think you just wanted an excuse to be alone with me," Adora raised her eyebrow in that arrogant way she always did. It never ceased to drive Catra wild.

"Is that right? I think you're just full of yourself," Catra smirked, crossing her arms as Adora approached. Adora looked great in her red dress, though it wasn't quite Adora's style. Catra would have picked something different for her but she wouldn't complain. Catra was glad she knew Adora well enough to know she would pick red even after leaving the Horde. They matched thanks to Catra's intuition. Adora in a dress wasn't something that Catra ever thought she needed but it was. She was certainly enjoying the sight before her, Adora's chest heaving, face flushed. 

"I mean it's _pretty obvious_ if you ask me." Adora gasped as Catra reached out and spun them around, pinning Adora to the column. 

"I'm pretty sure that's what _you_ want Adora," Catra kept her voice low, watching Adora grow more flustered. "You've been chasing me around _all night_. Your rebel friends might get the wrong idea. Letting yourself get separated from all your friends, not very smart unless you planned something. Though you never were the sneak attack type, you're far too honorable for that." 

"Maybe it _is_ what I want," Adora gulped, looking at Catra's lips. Glimmer was worried about _Catra_ being subtle? Adora couldn't be subtle if she tried. Even that little brat snow princess would be able to tell they weren't enemies just from looking at Adora. "I thought that's what _you_ wanted too." Adora looked away, anger and frustration in her eyes. 

"Why wouldn't I want that?" Catra couldn't keep it from slipping out. This was all she wanted. She had planned out most of the night, getting Adora to herself included in that. She had to see her alone for a few moments; the time they could spend together were getting fewer and further between.

"Because _Scorpia_ wouldn't like it," Adora ground out. _Why would I give a shit what Scorpia likes?_ Catra stood there in confusion for a moment. Adora was jealous. Adora didn't know that Catra was just using Scorpia to get in. It was an outcome that Catra was secretly hoping for, an outcome she had thought was probable. It was the reason Catra had made sure Scorpia looked dressed to kill instead of like a clown. She still hadn't expected Adora would stoop to her level, but Catra could work with this. 

"I don't think Scorpia would mind _sharing_. After all, you _were_ in line first," Catra snickered, trailing claws down one of Adora's exposed shoulders. Adora shivered and Catra fought the urge to pull Adora up against her.

"I mind!" Adora's eyes filled with anger. Catra didn't know why she was enjoying this so much but she loved getting a rise out of Adora. Maybe seeing her less required more of her, even if it was only in an emotional way. Catra couldn't get enough of her, her fists balled up in her dress, her face flushed from fury. It reminded Catra of all their sparring back in the Frightzone. Though whenever they sparred in the Frightzone Catra let Adora be in control. Catra much preferred it this way and it seemed Adora did as well, based on her body language.

"Well if you don't want me to stay, I can see if Scorpia wants to-" Catra started to pull away but Adora balled her fists into the front of Catra's suit jacket and pulled her back to where she was. Adora's lips were on hers in an instant but it was different this time. It was hot, burning. Catra couldn't help but smirk into Adora, pleased that this was working. Adora pulled even harder and Catra could feel her head swim and her body shake. Adora bit Catra's lip possessively before moving up to her ear to place another bite there. 

"She doesn't know you like I do," Adora growled. Catra couldn't suppress the pathetic noise that escaped her. Catra loved jealous Adora, making a note to do this again. 

"No, she doesn't," Catra whimpered as Adora nipped behind her ear. Catra knew this was a terrible idea. It certainly wasn't part of her plan. She had some time to mess with Adora but she wasn't sure how much longer she could stay like this. On the other hand, it might be a long time before she got to do anything like this with Adora again. And she always gave Adora what she wanted. Though she couldn't deny she wanted this as well. She had fantasized about this for years.

"You did this on _purpose_ ," Adora's voice was accusatory and low. Adora knew exactly what this was doing to Catra, whispering in her ear, feeling Catra shake. Where did she learn to do this? "You showed up in _that suit_ , on _her_ arm, because you knew it would make me like _this_." 

"Why do you think I lured you out here?" Catra chuckled, kissing Adora hard. She nipped and pulled at Adora's bottom lip, loving the gasp that came out. She tilted her mouth as Adora opened hers and slid her tongue in. Adora almost purred, slipping her own tongue in Catra's mouth. Catra felt her mind flutter away, almost forgetting what she was supposed to be doing. She pulled back, memorizing the whine of protest that came out of Adora's throat. "Don't you have some diplomacy you need to take care of Princess?" Catra started pressing kisses into Adora's neck, mimicking what Adora had been doing and loving the soft moans coming out of Adora. She pulled away to look at her face with a smirk. She looked at her handiwork, Adora flustered and needy, panting against her. Catra would kill to stay here forever but she had to try and end this. 

"Glimmer and Bow can handle it. I have something I would _much rather_ be doing. That is, only if you want to. We'd have to be quick," Adora's mouth quirked upwards in a smirk that made Catra feel weak. Catra looked around to make sure no one was around before deciding. This was an interesting turn of events, Catra thought. It wasn't the way she had dreamed about this happening but she wasn't about to question it. Maybe someday they would have the luxury of a long drawn out encounter, but not today. Maybe not anytime soon. Could Catra really deny herself this? Shadow Weaver was right, she had no self-control, not when it came to Adora. But she could die in any mission she took on for the Rebellion, she reasoned with herself. Did she want to die without being with Adora, even if it was only for a few minutes?

"You sure about this Princess?" Catra trailed her tail up Adora's leg, giving her one final chance to get out of this. Adora had kissed her a couple of weeks ago, and a few moments ago but did that really mean she wanted her? Was it just that Catra was familiar, safe? Did Catra care enough to let this moment pass her by? 

Smut below: Skip to next line break if you want to skip!

* * *

"Very sure," Adora nodded. Adora shoved her knee in between Catra's slightly parted legs, pressing up gently. Catra held back the moan building in her throat and reached forward to gently kiss Adora. She started bunching up Adora's dress to her waist, Adora wriggling against her. Catra swiftly dropped to her knees and smirked up at Adora, whose eyes went wide. Catra dropped Adora's dress around her, hoping it would make this look less suspicious. She knew that was completely impossible; if anyone stumbled upon them they would know what they were up to. The thought of someone catching them made Catra's heart quicken, out of fear and excitement. Catra was transfixed on Adora, studying her leg muscles as she ran her claws up them, looking at her modest underwear. She chuckled as she thought about how the bra probably didn't match; Adora had never been good at that. 

"Catra, _please_ hurry," Adora whimpered as Catra's fingers danced dangerously close to her underwear. 

"Patience is a virtue Adora," Catra nuzzled her face against Adora through the cloth, Adora choking back a moan. "But since you asked so nicely." Catra pushed Adora's underwear aside and immediately tried to find Adora's clit with her tongue. Adora's legs were shaking around her and this was everything she had imagined and more. Adora tasted sweet and salty at the same time. 

"Um, Catra?" Adora's voice was quiet and trembling. 

"Yes?" Catra pulled away. She wanted to hide the obvious annoyance in her voice, wanting Adora more than anything. It was difficult for her to be this vulnerable, even if there was a dress between them, this was undeniably intimate. 

"Could you move just a little to the left?" Adora whispered. Her voice was filled with embarrassment. Catra grinned and obliged, diving back in. She flicked her tongue more to the left and Adora's hips started to buck. Catra swelled with pride; _she_ was doing this to Adora. Adora was reacting like this because of _her_. Catra sucked gently and Adora's legs clamped around her. "You are so _good_ at this Catra," Adora gasped. Catra stiffened before going back to flicking her tongue over Adora's clit, moaning into her. Catra hadn't known she liked that. Catra snaked her right hand down to stroke herself through her pants, groaning into Adora. Adora lifted her skirts up, Catra now looking up at her. It felt mortifying and Catra wanted to pull away until she saw Adora's face. 

"I always imagined looking at you. W-when I thought about us doing this," Adora admitted, "You look even more beautiful than I imagined." Catra pressed slightly harder with her tongue, loving how Adora squeezed her thighs around her. Catra pulled away slightly, tilting her chin up. 

"S-say more n-nice stuff," Catra whimpered. She hated anyone seeing her like this. But if Adora was going to enjoy herself, so was she. Catra started rubbing herself in a circle, groaning into Adora. She looked up expectantly, hoping that Adora wasn't judging her. Adora took a moment to realize what Catra had asked before giving a smile that was glowing, almost loving. It was overwhelming Catra. 

"You've always been so _pretty_ Catra. I would try so hard not to look at you because you made me feel things," Adora gasped as Catra went back to licking Adora, pressing the flat of her tongue against Adora. Catra's head was swimming; she was so close. "Catra please, you're so good! Please!" Adora was grinding her hips into Catra just as Catra tumbled over the edge. Catra's legs shook as she knelt there, Adora rubbing herself on her face, gasping and panting. 

"Catra, scratch me!" Adora begged. Catra's grin grew wicked as she clawed down the backs of Adora's legs. She wanted Adora to remember this, leaving marks all over her. Adora squeezed her legs around her, Catra barely able to breathe. She wouldn't complain, she wanted this sight etched in her brain until the day she died. Adora thrust onto her a few more times before shuddering all around her, mouth hung open, somehow silent. Catra waited until Adora stopped panting, lightly rubbing where she had scratched before detaching herself. 

* * *

"Catra, that was-" She pulled Adora's skirts down gently before standing. Catra licked her lips before moving to fix Adora's bangs. Adora adjusted Catra's suit carefully, avoiding eye contact.

"Don't get all mushy," Catra tried to deflect, looking away, "But you're welcome." She couldn't help but grin. Catra's ears flicked as she heard the first dance announced. 

"Dance with me," Adora beckoned, grabbing her hand and leading her down the hallway to the stairs. Catra wanted to stop her but she felt helpless. Adora's face was so happy, she seemed so thrilled to be with Catra. Catra wanted to freeze this moment, keep it with her for the rest of her life. 

Adora and Catra started the choreographed dance that was expected, slowly spinning around each other. Catra tried to remember Adora's smile. It was all going to come crashing down any moment now, nothing like this could last for Catra. Adora kept looking at her lips, then back at her eyes. It made Catra want to haul Adora over her shoulder and leave. Fuck the Rebellion, fuck the Horde. Just be with Adora. 

"I can't believe I thought you were up to something. I'm so glad you snuck in to see me," Adora smiled. Catra's throat felt insufferably dry, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

"Me too." The lie didn't pass through her lips easily. She felt the pin in her pocket start buzzing and she reached in to silence it. 

"Hey boss, we got Bow! We're just waiting on your next orders-" It was Scorpia's voice loud and clear, even through her pants. Catra's heart stopped and Adora ceased moving, confusion on her face. "Boss? Hey, Catra, where are you?" 

"You _used_ me," Adora whispered. Adora pushed Catra into the ice sculpture so hard it broke. Catra's head pounded from the impact. She couldn't process what was happening as Adora picked her up by the front of her jacket, so far up that her feet were dangling in the air. 

"It wasn't like that-" Catra started, her own eyes burning as she saw tears slide down Adora's cheeks. Adora lifted her higher, shaking her slightly.

"Where is Bow?" Catra knew this was it. This was the moment where she had to decide if she could go through with this. She forced her mouth into a smile. 

"Wouldn't you like to know Princess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back everyone! Season 4 was amazing! It will change a couple of things about this fic, not much though! I hope you enjoyed, I haven't written sex in years so please be kind! Next chapter see how mad Glimmer is about Catra kidnapping her(and Bow)! I love all your comments and kudos they make my day!


	8. No Princess Left Behind

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Catra warned. Glimmer was trying to fight her way out of Shadow Weaver's new trick. Catra wondered how Shadow Weaver had figured out a way to use her magic without being present. It made Catra shudder thinking of all the possibilities, all the pain Shadow Weaver could inflict on her later without even being in her presence. Catra doubted that Shadow Weaver would use that kind of tool on her. Shadow Weaver _savored_ punishing Catra. She liked to be there for Catra's screams. That's why Catra had stopped making noise at age six. She wouldn't give that bitch the satisfaction.

"Why? Are you afraid I'll escape? Afraid you'll lose the Horde's approval?" Glimmer spat. She was writhing against her restraints, causing herself immense pain as she tried once again to teleport through them. Catra knew well enough that wouldn't work. Shadow Weaver wouldn't have bothered if it was that easy.

"No, I'm worried you'll permanently damage your goods. Pretty sure I wouldn't get my reward then, would I Princess? Besides, do I look like I'm trying to get on the Horde's good side? I've been skulking around giving you classified information for weeks, I'm sure they don't appreciate that," Catra retorted as she slunk over to Glimmer, careful not to make any noise. She couldn't be sure if there were any spies for Shadow Weaver wandering around. Catra was grateful that the old crone still trusted her enough to make her guard the room with the Princess in it. This "success" was proof that Catra had some worth, after all, Catra thought bitterly.

"You... you didn't betray us?" Glimmer gasped, incredulous at the idea. It stung a bit that they still didn't trust her, but Catra wasn't shocked. She had kidnapped Glimmer and Bow with no warning or explanation and handed them both over to Shadow Weaver. 

"No. Now stop moving, that shit hurts. Plus I don't know how magic works but you probably want your magic touching _that magic_ as little as possible."

"But you have a plan?" Glimmer asked hopefully. At least she had stopped struggling to get free. Glimmer was doing more harm than good doing that. Not to mention she was wasting all her magic. 

"Of course I have a plan. Trust me, Adora is going to come barreling in here any time now to break you out. Until then, just sit tight Princess. This is going to work out well for us all if you're _patient_." 

"I don't see _how_ . If you could just _explain_ your plan a little-" 

"Not going to happen. Sorry Sparkles, but that's not how espionage works. The more people who know about something, the more ways it can go wrong. Do you trust me?" Catra wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer, but she asked the question all the same. They had to believe her, even if it was only in the smallest amount. 

"I trust you. I'm not one hundred percent sure why, but I do," Glimmer admitted, slumping down. Catra moved closer. Glimmer looked awful dangling there, her dress ripped to shreds. Shadow Weaver had been rough with this one, which was strange for such an important prisoner. _She didn't intend to keep this prisoner._ The revelation sent a shiver down Catra's spine.

"Good. To help maintain that trust, I'll give you something. Bow is in cell 114A. I assigned the worst guard in the world to him, _a baby_ could take out Kyle. The cell block is the first place Adora will look for you both." 

"Why is Adora showing up so important? How do you know she'll come when my mom decided to turn herself in for us?" Glimmer didn't look hopeful, but she didn't understand Adora. Catra knew the moment she saw Adora hanging off that cliff with tears in her eyes that she was already formulating a rescue mission. It was all in her eyes as if she was _daring_ Catra to stop her.

"You'll see Princess, I'll explain it to you later. For now, I have to find that damned sword. But Adora will be here, no matter what your mother ordered. She has a savior complex the size of the Frightzone, she'll be here." 

* * *

Catra hated this. Catra had been in this room only once when she was little. It had been when Adora was four or five, she had gotten very sick. She had spots all over her body and Shadow Weaver wanted her to be comfortable; Adora had been crying and itching all over. That was the only reason Catra had been allowed in Shadow Weaver's bedroom: Adora's comfort, distracting her from the illness, they were both Catra's jobs. Shadow Weaver hadn't cared nearly as much when Catra had caught it after Adora had almost healed. Catra had been banished to either the medical bay or the vents, so she chose the vents as always. The room attached to the Black Garnet Chamber hadn't changed much, still gloomy and depressing as ever. 

"If I was a creepy old witch, where would I hide the most important object on Etheria?" Catra muttered to herself. The room was littered with strange chests and dressers; it wasn't green like most of the Horde rooms but a dark red instead. When Catra had last seen it she thought it would be a good room for the Queen of Beast Island. She then learned that there was no Queen of Beast Island but the sentiment remained the same. Catra began with under the bed, the most obvious place but shockingly it wasn't there. She began tearing through the chests, still nothing but bizarre sorcerer's texts and equipment. Catra cursed her luck, every moment invited an intrusion from Shadow Weaver or one of her goons. It wouldn't be easy to explain why she was invading her caretaker's privacy. 

"Are you looking for something Wildcat?" Catra stiffened, a tremor running through her. She hesitantly turned around, facing Scorpia. 

"It's not what it looks like. Mind your own business," Catra hissed. 

"No, I get it. You and Shadow Weaver have some weird tension, what with Adora leaving. Not to mention she raised you but is your superior officer? Man, that must be rough, I can't even imagine-"

"Is there a _point_ to this speech?" Catra snapped. Scorpia _had_ to be a spy. No one was nice to Catra without a reason, no one but Adora. Scorpia was spying for Shadow Weaver, wasn't she? It was all over, the Horde would win and Catra would be sentenced to death because she couldn't tell if Scorpia was as naive as she seemed. Catra wanted to scream at herself for being so stupid. 

"Oh, right! Sorry, Catra! I just thought you might be looking for Adora's sword." 

"Why would I be looking for that?" Catra scoffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. 

"I don't know, you might want to wave it in Adora's face? You _do_ like to taunt her. But whatever you do with it, I won't tell." Scorpia looked so serious, Catra believed her. Was she making a grave mistake? Would Scorpia hand her the sword and then Shadow Weaver would pop out of nowhere to punish her? Would Scorpia stab a literal knife in her back? 

"You won't tell? Not even if Shadow Weaver orders you to?" Catra couldn't hide her skepticism.

"Of course not! I don't get along with Shadow Weaver that well, I'm a bit afraid of her if I'm being honest. And all my performance reviews are either glowing or negative, I can't tell if she likes me or not-" Catra started rubbing her forehead in frustration as Scorpia rambled.

"Do you know where it is or not?" Catra barked. She was running out of time. Adora was going to be sneaking in at any moment and she couldn't escape the Frightzone without her sword. 

"Shadow Weaver gave it to me to protect! Well, I'm on first shift anyway, they're going to change its location in about fifteen minutes-" 

"Can you bring it to me?" Catra kept the desperation out of her voice but there was a twinge of fear in it. She hoped Scorpia didn't notice, but Scorpia never seemed to notice much.

"Sure! But you're not going to break it or anything are you? Shadow Weaver would kill me if anything happened to that thing." 

"I'm just going to taunt Princess Glitter with it. I'll put it back as soon as I'm done," Catra fibbed. Catra felt a prick of guilt at the lie. She pushed it down. She would tell millions of lies if it would keep Adora safe; if it would get Adora what she wanted. This one lie wouldn't come back to bite Scorpia in the ass. And even if it did, why should she care? The first rule in the Horde was to trust no one. It wasn't an official rule but it was the rule Catra learned the quickest. Anyone could stab you in the back at any time and you should expect it. Scorpia had lived in the Horde her whole life just as Catra had and if she hadn't figured that out by now that was her problem.

"Wow, that sounds like fun! Do you need any help with that, like a buddy or-"

"Scorpia, we have _a very limited time frame_ to get the sword. Can you get the sword? For me?" Catra tried to make her speech beguilingly sweet. It was so cloying it made her want to vomit. She used the tone she saved for taunting Adora; it felt like she was giving away something precious.

"Sure thing Wildcat, I'll be right back!" Catra let out a sigh of relief the moment Scorpia was gone, closing all of the chests and dressers before going into the Black Garnet chamber to wait, slicking her hair back. She wanted to calm her nerves, but it wasn't working. Glimmer was looking at her disapprovingly like Catra had done the most sinful thing imaginable.

"That was pretty _shady_ Catra," Glimmer looked at Catra as though she were covered in slime.

"Oh, I'm sorry Princess, did you forget this is a _war_? Lying is one of the least harmful things you can do to a person in this situation. I could have beat the shit out of her, or better yet _killed_ her. She witnessed too much, I could either fool her or get rid of her. Why is trickery as deplorable as violence?" Catra retorted. 

"Aren't you two friends? You could have told her the truth." 

"Psh, this is the Frightzone. There is no such thing as "friendship" in the Horde. You climb the ranks or you die, plain and simple." Catra turned away. She was growing tired of the bleeding heart rebel speeches. They were a waste of time. No wonder Adora loved them so much, all they talked about were holier than thou ideologies. They never had to face the truth that the world was uglier than that, crueler than that. This was war, not tea time with lollipops and rainbows.

"Yet you made friends with Adora," Glimmer commented. 

"That's _different_! That's more about Adora than the Frightzone. She wouldn't leave me alone until we were friends. She harassed me every day until I gave in!" Catra whirled around. There was probably more to it than that. Catra couldn't remember how they became friends exactly; they had met when they were so young. Catra could remember the fear and the shame. Then came the warmth of being with Adora. Adora brought the sunshine wherever she was. She couldn't remember a time without Adora, it was always the two of them attached at the hip. 

"Even people in the Horde need friends. It must have been _lonely_ ," Glimmer whispered. Shame came creeping back, reminding Catra that she didn't belong anywhere. Adora had been her only friend for as long as she could remember. Lonnie had bullied her to no end as children, and whenever Adora wasn't around the others joined in. It wasn't enough that Shadow Weaver made her life a living hell, other adults like Octavia adhered to the same policy. No one loved Catra like Adora did. No one loved her at all. What was friendship worth if it was fake like the "friendship" her fellow cadets had shared?

"It _wasn't_ until you took Adora from me!" Catra spat. She bared her teeth, unable to control the emotions she was feeling. Her ears flew forward and her tail swished as she heard someone approaching the door. It sounded like Scorpia, so Catra decided the conversation was over. She would get the sword and then she would fix things. She would have everything she needed and more. Glimmer would be out of her hair soon enough and then she could go back to being lonely. 

* * *

  
  


Catra was running through the halls, as swiftly as she could while carrying a sword. Her paw pads hit the metal of the Frightzone, barely keeping her from slipping as she skittered down the halls. If anyone saw her with the sword she was done for. There would be soldiers everywhere in a matter of minutes, parading through the hallway. The alarm was blaring in her ears, adding to the panic she felt as she got closer to the way she thought Adora would go. Adora was a creature of habit and she would use the way they used when they wanted to sneak out and be alone. Catra couldn't stop herself from panting as she rounded yet another corner, desperate to not lose any speed.

Stupid Adora. Stupid Adora just had to barrel in and get captured. Catra couldn't curse her luck any more than she already was. Adora was terrible at thinking, she had to run over training maneuvers over and over. Adora did the worst on stealth projects, so much so that Shadow Weaver had just decided to stop testing Adora on it. Shadow Weaver said Adora would have no use for that kind of thinking anyways as she would be on the front lines. Catra had to think on her toes now. She had to figure out the best way to get Adora out of here unscathed. Shadow Weaver was going to wipe Adora's mind and Catra wasn't going to let that happen. 

Stupid Glimmer. She had to do the one thing that Catra had told her not to do. She was likely severely injured without even knowing it. Catra couldn't think of any other way out of the situation now. She didn't know why she hadn't thought about Shadow Weaver wiping Adora's mind. That would be the first thing she would try; she wanted her precious, pliable Adora back. Catra was certain to be in more trouble than she was already in because of Glimmer. She knew that Angella would hate this idea, which was why she didn't tell her about it. But if her daughter was injured? Angella might decide to work with Catra was too dangerous and leave her high and dry. Catra wasn't sure if she blamed her at this point, this scheme had become too hair-brained. But there was still a chance for Catra to make this work and she was going to take it.

Catra got to the corner of the hall and looked down the next one and there they were. Catra froze as she saw Adora practically carrying Glimmer through the Frightzone. Catra could feel the irrational envy creeping into her. Her brain asked her if Glimmer did this on purpose, but she shook it away. That would be astoundingly dumb. If Catra gave Adora the sword she could get Glimmer out of here faster and Catra wouldn't have to think about this anymore. At least that's what she told herself, realistically she would lie in bed tonight thinking about it. She saw Glimmer desperately trying to teleport them but she was glowing red in agony and was unable to do so. It added to Catra's growing negative emotions that were boiling inside her. She pushed her feelings down as best she could as she dragged the sword across the wall, stalking towards Adora and Glimmer. She wanted to get their attention but it would also look menacing to any potential onlookers. Hopefully, there won't be any.

"Catra," Adora's voice was disappointed and angry. Catra swung the sword to point it at them, both of them gasping. Glimmer was either hurt more than Catra thought or she was finally turning into a good actress. She watched the anger rise to the surface of Adora's face once again. Catra didn't know what she expected; she had fucked her and kidnapped her friends. She could feel her heart cracking as she turned the sword around, offering the handle to Adora. 

"What are you doing?" Adora asked, cautious as ever. 

"Take it," Catra felt like she was being stabbed when Adora looked away. She looked away, muttering, "This is _not_ because I like you." She met Adora's eyes again as she took the sword, hoping that Adora would somehow finally understand what she meant. She would do anything for Adora, even risk being hurt by Shadow Weaver by helping her escape. 

"Catra-" Adora started again. Catra couldn't listen to the whole speech again, she needed Adora to leave quickly. 

"Just get out of here," Catra turned away, heart burning as she turned away. Adora was turning into She-Ra, she could feel it. She didn't want to see her anymore, she had said her goodbyes to Adora. She turned and sprinted down the hallway, hearing the crash of metal behind her. She swallowed the pain as she ran, not stopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have been so wonderful to me with this fic! I really do appreciate all the comments on every chapter! I'm still planning this fic but it's already at 50 chapters planned, so look forward to that! Til the next chapter, I hope you enjoyed!


	9. Hot Water

"You will explain, _this instant_ , why I should even _entertain_ the idea of working with you further." Catra sat there frozen, a cold sweat coming over her as she stared down at Angella on the screen. She had expected her to scream at her, to tell her their partnership was over. She didn't expect the Queen to be sitting calmly, albeit angrily. She was cold, distant. Catra was used to bursts of anger, not it simmering just under the surface. Her fingers trembled as she held the trackpad, hoping the shake wasn't noticeable on the other end.

"I-I..." Catra started, before jolting herself, "You're closer than you've ever been to defeating the Horde because of _me_! You would all be hiding in Brightmoon waiting for the inevitable without _me_! " 

"And yet what has it cost us? A princess _died_ in that ludicrous scheme of yours. How many more will we lose by the time you're done?" Catra felt herself fading away. She hadn't known someone had _died_. It shouldn't bother her, she told herself. She was being affected by their bleeding heart rebel mentality. This was war, people died. The Horde had started preparing them for that fact when they were seven. The other cadets had taunted Catra for crying about it. Adora had held her and told her it was necessary for the cause, that they would try and save everyone. Catra knew better than that even in her tender youth. 

"And?" Catra snapped, incredulous, "In case you forgot _this is a war._ Only losing one person on a mission like that is nothing short of a miracle. Not to mention I don't think you're in a place to talk considering this whole war could have been prevented if you had just listened to the Queen of the Magicats. And where is she again? _Oh, right, she's dead_." Angella looked down, guilt and shame creeping across her face. 

"I'm only going to repeat myself one more time. You are not in my military, you are not one of my people, you are _not_ a Princess. Your failed mission not only cost the life of a very vital Princess but you got _my daughter_ severely injured. Give me one good reason why I should continue to work with you, Force Captain." Force Captain. Of course, it was Force Captain when they were angry. Couldn't acknowledge all she was doing as a rebellion spy could they? Bad people belonged in the Horde, good people in the Rebellion. It was all so black and white to them. 

"It wasn't a failure. Shadow Weaver is about to be dethroned, that was my plan all along. I can't help you defeat the Horde until we get rid of her. Hordak is furious with her, she's on her last leg with him. If I can find something to pique his interest, I can topple the Horde." 

"You intend to take her place," Angella seemed to piece her plan together. 

"Hordak doesn't do anything around here, it's _all_ Shadow Weaver. He just stays in his "sanctum" all day. Shadow Weaver controls all the troops, all the resources. I can sabotage all of them. I even have a plan to get the soldiers on your side and revolt against the Horde."

"And I am supposed to trust you? That you won't betray us at the last moment or pull another foolish stunt that gets you or others killed?" 

"I understand your hesitation. You'd have to be an idiot to just take my word for it. But what choice do you have? You wouldn't be winning any battles without me, you'd be right back to square one. Except Adora wouldn't be very happy to hear that you _abandoned_ me in the Frightzone after all I've done for you. I wonder what she would say if I told her the next time I saw her," Catra made her tone condescending in a calculated move. All conversations were like a game, it was something she realized at a young age. It was something she enjoyed, given the right conditions. She was trying to enjoy this but it was nerve-wracking. One slip up meant it was all over for her, that she would have to crawl back to Adora with her tail between her legs. 

"I don't recommend you threaten me Catra. You can get your point across other ways. I am not Shadow Weaver, I am not here to punish you," Angella sighed, contemplating her next words carefully, "I understand your reservations about disclosing certain information to my daughter. She is young and more sheltered than you, I cannot deny it. But we cannot move forward without you disclosing plans. And I mean _all_ plans. You need not tell Glimmer and Bow if you feel they could compromise your position, but you must inform me if this partnership is to continue." Catra felt herself internally sigh. She had never been good at reporting to authority figures. _You can't afford another mistake. She says she's not Shadow Weaver but who knows how long that will last_. 

"I think I can manage that, your majesty," Catra tried to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. Old habits die hard, Catra supposed. 

"If you stay above board, you will be heavily rewarded Catra. Now, I want a full report on what is happening with Shadow Weaver and your plans going forward." Catra took a deep breath before smirking. Even if she was nervous about this whole thing, even if her body was betraying her, she could do this. She could fake her reactions as best she could and pull herself out of this. She always did.

"Of course, your highness." 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


"Hey, Adora!" Catra called out. She stood atop a tank, watching as She-Ra and the other Princesses scrambled around. Adora stopped dead in her tracks and looked up at Catra, frown across her strained and tired face. "You sure do look _tired_ down there. Does the mighty She-Ra need a _nap_?" Catra cackled. 

"Do you ever shut up?" Adora's expression turned to one of frustration as she threw her sword in Catra's direction. Catra jumped out of the way nimbly, circling her "prey" in a long, drawn-out fashion. The longer she taunted Adora the more time the other Princesses had to force the Horde back, as she had outlined in her plans to Angella. Adora was the heaviest hitter and the Horde's biggest concern. Shadow Weaver and Hordak had both agreed using Catra to distract her would be their best course of action, though they didn't know that would play right into Catra's plans. 

"Wow, cranky Princess! I thought you Rebels were all about _kindness_ and _understanding_ ," Catra laced her words with a sickly sweet tone. Normally Adora liked her sarcasm, but now she stood across from her as if she were a stranger. 

"I'm not in the mood for this today Catra!" Adora swung her fist towards her, Catra easily dodging, jumping behind Adora. 

"Aw, I could get you in the mood Princess," Catra's tone was low, suggestive. She knew it was a low blow, but Bow wasn't going to get anything done if she didn't draw this out a bit longer. Catra had already done them enough favors by drawing the Horde near the woods but giving him more than ten minutes was probably stretching it. 

" _Enough Catra_!" Catra hadn't been fast enough, Adora pushing her to the ground. Catra hit her head and was dazed. Not dazed enough apparently, because she could hear the tanks noise in the background. And she could feel Adora jump on top of her, their heads hitting together.

Catra clutched her head, forcing her head up, her ears ringing from the tank shot. Why would they be stupid enough to shoot so close to her? Who had disobeyed her orders to leave Adora to her? Catra quickly looked down at herself and she wasn't hurt as far as she could tell. Her vision was blurry and her ears ringing, her chest pounding as she frantically looked at Adora. Her eyes started focusing, looking through the smoke and burning ground. Adora was on top of her, her She-Ra form gone. She was unconscious and Catra started panicking. Catra looked around desperately to see if there were any Horde soldiers. At that moment she wasn't sure if she cared. Catra propelled herself forward, flipping Adora onto her legs as she sat up. 

Adora didn't look hurt. She looked like she was sleeping, her breathing was even. It looked like they must have been aiming for her though, a dark burn on the back of her shirt. For once Catra was thankful that Adora was She-Ra because the blast would have killed her. It would have killed _both of them_. Catra couldn't let herself think about that right now. Catra saw that the smoke was starting to clear. Hoisting Adora onto her back, Catra darted towards the woods. Adora was heavier than she remembered. Catra had always prided herself on being fast, but she wasn't making good time, desperate as she was. Adora was a dead weight on her back, which Adora had just pushed into the ground. Never had she wanted Sparkles to show up more as she saw the treeline inching closer to them. The likelihood of someone seeing them was doing nothing to help her as she tripped, nearly falling with Adora on top of her. Adora let out a pained moan, hammering on Catra's nerves. 

Catra could feel the sweat dripping down her back as she struggled to get into the woods. Her instincts were telling her the woods were just as bad, that they would die in there. She knew she didn't have any better options, Adora slipping down her back. If any Horde soldiers saw her they would take them in or just shoot them both on sight. Catra hoisted Adora back up, Adora giving a pained groan in response. 

"You just had to give them an opening, didn't you? Why couldn't you just play along? You just have to be the hero," Catra huffed, finally at the tree line, pushing them further into the trees. Her muscles were screaming for her to stop and rest. Her heart was telling her to run, to pick up the pace. She tried to go faster, her muscles screaming as she did. She could still hear the tanks, the soldiers yelling. She could almost hear people calling her name, but she pushes the thought back. Adora is all that matters. _Adora, Adora, Adora._

Catra stumbled, landing them both on the ground, Adora almost crushing her. Catra cried out in pain. Her leg made a painful cracking sound and she prayed she didn't break it, though her back was the primary source of her agony. She felt trapped under Adora, trying to roll to get her off. She found some strength left and managed to do it, but she wasn't sure how much longer she could carry Adora. She shook Adora, hoping it would get her back up. 

"Please Adora, we have to move," Catra pled, but no answer came. She attempted to get back on her feet but found the pain in her leg almost unbearable. She froze as she heard some rustling in the trees. She desperately tried to get Adora onto her back, unsheathing her claws. She couldn't move fast enough, scrambling to do anything. The sound slowly got closer, louder than Frightzone machinery but not as loud as the thudding of her heart.

A large creature came out of the woods, fur similar to her own in length, but dark in color. The face was longer, four yellow eyes piercing into her. Her own fur raised, her instinct was to fight. She wouldn't win, even in her healthiest form; it towered over them both, nearly the size of a tank itself. It was cautiously trying to approach, sizing them up. Catra growled at it, unable to control her instincts, baring her teeth. She could feel every hair standing on end as she held Adora.

"Back off, whatever the fuck you are!" Catra hissed. To her surprise, it took a step back. It stayed, waiting for something. Catra wasn't sure what it was but it was unnerving her, eyeing the top of her head before looking into her eyes again. Adora groaned again, Catra clutching her more closely. She could hear the Horde shouting, not that far off even within the trees. Catra prayed for one of the only times in her life that the woods would do their job. She knew she couldn't rely on that, even the woods were probably against her. _The sword_. Catra looked around for it then remembered Adora had thrown it at her and left it on the battlefield. Adora could be such a bone head. Catra wearily eyed the creature that refused to move, just sat in front of her.

Catra had heard plenty of tales about the Whispering Woods, about creatures that could rip limbs off, that could steal faces, that would drag Horde children into the night. Like everything in the Horde, it was likely only half true. The Horde liked to keep their child soldiers terrified. It kept them compliant. Now Catra wondered if they hadn't been lying. Why wasn't it _doing_ anything? There was no way an animal would just listen to her, it couldn't speak or understand her. She knew she wasn't frightening it, it was waiting calmly. Catra heard another explosion, this one even closer. Her body froze, shaking as she shrunk. The monster stood, gracefully rising from its position. 

"Don't come any closer," Catra hissed, clinging to Adora, wishing she would wake up. It didn't get any closer. It turned to walk away and paused, back turned to her. It turned its head back and motioned forward, beckoning her to follow it. It walked off, and Catra sat there stunned. Did she have a choice? _Follow. Follow. Follow_. She didn't know why her brain was trying to force her to follow this thing into the woods but as the explosions got louder and louder she wondered what choice she had. She heaved Adora back onto her back, grunting at the pain that followed. Adora made a similar noise, but Catra knew they didn't have a choice. They could stay here and die or they could follow this thing and most likely die. But at least there was a small chance. 

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Catra grumbled, her leg dragging in the dirt as she maneuvered them around and over roots. To her surprise, the creature had waited for them before continuing further into the woods. It was most likely leading them to a more convenient place to save their bones for later. _Why hasn't it just eaten us? Why hasn't it just killed us yet?_ They were an easy free meal. Maybe it was magic like everything else in this damn place, Catra couldn't be sure. She didn't know what stupid part of her brain was urging her to follow a giant cat in the woods, but she was doing it. 

The trees seemed to be pulling themselves back, making a path for them both. Catra kept her distance as best she could in case it changed its mind, but it was difficult to keep up. While the creature wasn't affected by them, it was wary of the explosions. Catra could tell by its ears that the creature was doing this against its better judgment. Catra wasn't sure what to make of this. Was it helping them because Adora was She-Ra? That would make sense but she didn't have the sword with her. Did Angella send it? Angella seemed too smart to send a nonverbal animal to their rescue, especially when Adora had a magical unicorn now. 

Eventually, the trees parted to an abandoned clearing, a small cottage overgrown with weeds in sight. The cat towered over it but laid down next to it in a sweeping motion nonetheless. It averted its gaze from her, something she found strange but she didn't question. This was their only chance and Catra was going to take it. She walked to the door, covered in sweat. She could feel it dripping down, not sure if it was hers or Adora's. The door opened easily and Catra breathed a sigh of relief. She got them just inside the door before slamming it shut, latching every single lock until she felt a little safer. _If it wants to eat you it will just crush the house dumbass._

Catra took a look around. There wasn't much, whoever lived here had left in a hurry. There was a cot on the floor and no other furniture. Catra wouldn't complain, she was just grateful they could wait here until Adora woke up. Catra pushed herself to the cot, throwing Adora and then herself down on it next to her. Catra's breathing was heavy and she started laughing, unable to control herself as she felt a surge of relief. Adora made a pained noise and Catra turned over to look at her. Tears welled up in her eyes as she tried to push them back. She was so convinced they would both die, she couldn't think of anything else. She reached out to Adora pulling her close to her as she shook. Her muscles screamed out in pain but she ignored them. 

"We made it. Fuck Adora, we made it," Catra was caught somewhere between laughing and crying. She could smell the smoke in Adora's hair, the sweat mixed in with it. Hearing Adora's even breathing didn't help her calm down for once, it just made the beating of her own heart even more obvious. Catra knew they would have to spend at least the night here but she couldn't think of anything but Adora and her own overwhelming body shaking, threading her fingers in Adora's hair as she cried. She would have to come up with a plan in the morning, she knew. But for now, she could lay like this. She only hoped Adora wouldn't mind and that she would wake up before Adora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live! I hope to get back into writing, everything has been crazy and I wasn't very inspired but I am now and I'm so happy you read this chapter! There is one more chapter before my interpretation of Promise, which will be super fun! Please leave a comment or some kudos, they really keep me going! 
> 
> This chapter is going to tie into some cool Magicat shit eventually, I hope you guys will keep reading!


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